3- The Aftermath
by DTA2013
Summary: Can Emily tell JJ about her and Sarah's past, how will team react when they find out she is pregnant, Can Sarah learn to trust JJ and allow her close to her own demons! As ever I do not own Criminal Minds, Just the OOC...Please Read and Review As always :) Part of the Manipulation: Series
1. Chapter 1

Manipulation: The Aftermath

As ever, I do not own Criminal minds all rights belong to CBS… Damn!

Please R&R as always keeps me going

Set after the art of manipulation

Chapter 1

Location: BAU

Late February

She tapped her foot against the floor looking towards the doors as she looked back down at the case file in front of her, turning the page the pictures were like a knife to her soul, her face paled as a hand touched her shoulder, the fear washed over as she automatically reached for her gun "Whoa Emily it's me" Rossi moved back she didn't respond, never answered as she rose from her chair heading straight out the door racing towards the toilets. Falling to her knees as the bile rose as she vomited

Rossi looked down at the file "Son of a bitch" the angry in his voice as he picked up the file "Which prick put this on her desk" He growled as he threw the file down the pictures sprawling over the floor. Morgan eyes widened as he saw the picture "I...I… Shit"

Emily vomited again her body sagging against the toilet hearing the click on the door again she flinched for her gun, the ghosts haunting her mind "Emily it's only me" the soft voice spoke as she gently moved the hair out of her face as she vomited again "So..Sorry" she mumbled as her voice shuddered.

There on the floor sprawled out for everyone to see Emily naked battered body their hearts went out to her "Dave what's going on" Hotch's voice echoed around the bullpen, his eyes flashed in anger "Some sick bastered gave Emily her own fucking case file, that's what has happened!" With that he walked out of the bullpen leaving a very shocked Hotch

"How on earth did that get onto her desk?" he asked as both Morgan and Reid answered at the same time "No idea, I thought this" Morgan motioned to the file "Was you know filed far away from us all" Hotch nodded "Where is she" "Bathroom with JJ" he answered weakly.

Emily sat there shaking everything flooding back the pain the fear the part none of them knew, or saw, she placed her hand over her stomach as the tears fell from her eyes.

As the bile rose in her throat again "Jen...nifer" she stumbled over the words as JJ rubbed her back soothingly "I'm going to ask Hotch if I can take you home... Okay" she said softly as Emily slowly tried to regain her senses, she nodded as words failed her. "You think you can stand and can come back into the bullpen?" Emily nodded as the thought began to get too much for her, she wanted to run but her instincts told her to trust the voice she could hear.

JJ guided a very pale and shaky Emily back into the bullpen walking her into the kitchen just her legs gave out just as JJ caught her, as Morgan rushed over helping to steady her pulling a chair so she was able to sit.

She looked at Morgan for a moment as Emily flinched at his touch she was completely trapped in her mind. This was something JJ always feared. She knew she had to get her away from here, but first she wanted to know what the hell had happened. She had been doing so well lately and now she was just a vacant shell.

"Morgan get Garcia please" she said softly "She's on her way" Reid said softly "thanks," Morgan sighed as he watched Emily completely shut down to the point he couldn't even touch her, she hadn't flinched away from him and now it was as though she was scared of him the shell, he looked at JJ as Garcia calmly walked in.

There was no bright spark on her face just concern as she walked over to JJ, "JJ what on earth as happened?" JJ sighed keeping Emily close to her "I don't know and, please Garcia can you just stay with her" JJ's eyes watered slightly as she looked at her best friend. Garcia nodded.

She carefully reached her hand out speaking softly as Emily flinched away; she knew JJ's touch even in her worse state but now all she could see was him. "Please don't" her voice was weak as she whispered wrapping her arms around herself as away of protecting herself, the team was heartbroken they knew she was still struggling.

And when things had gotten too much for her, she would hide in JJ's office to work on her consults. She knew she was safe with her.

JJ knocked on Hotch's door not giving him time to answer, her eyes blazed at him "What the hell Hotch!" she scowled "I do not know how that ended up on her desk and believe me I will be finding out" JJ closed her eyes "Even I can't bring myself to look at them, do you have any idea what this has done to her" he cringed "JJ believe me I can imagine" she nodded "I need to get her out of here Hotch," she said softly her eyes keeping watch on Emily.

"Let me know how she is JJ, is Sarah at home?" JJ nodded "Hotch you best deal with this and make sure nothing like this happens again, she is only just coping as it is and now look at her Morgan can't even get near her" Hotch stood in the doorway and looked in her direction "Will you be okay getting her home" she let out a dry chuckle "I will have to be since she won't let anyone near her" with that she walked down to the bullpen collecting her things before making her way into the kitchen.

JJ knelt in front of her as she gently ran her finger through her hair, she flinched slightly at her touch as JJ smiled sadly as her "Shh, Em I've got you, your safe sweetheart" Emily looked into her blue eyes though she never made a sound or any type of movement "Em can you stand for me" she asked softly as she wrapped her arm around her waist, Emily stood slightly as Garcia spoke softly to JJ "I'll give you a hand JJ"

They guided her out of the BAU and down into the parking lot opening the car and getting her into the car "Will you be okay JJ?" Garcia asked, "I just need to get her home Pen" Garcia nodded "You need anything ring me" JJ nodded as she closed the door as gently as she could. "Thank you" she said with a sigh.

Sorry" she muttered as JJ kissed her head "Shh, let's get you home" she said softly as she started the car. Her hand rested on Emily's knee in a hope of grounding her, even when Emily had her bad days she needed the contact of JJ and JJ knew this as she pulled the car out of the parking lot and driving them both home.

Sarah and JJ helped Emily up to her the front door, and helping her inside. "Whiskey or scotch Mom?" "Sc...Whiskey" she muttered as they guided her to the sofa, JJ never leaving her side Emily curled into JJ "don't leave me please" she said weakly "Never" she said firmly as Sarah gave her Mom the glass "You can only have one Mom okay" Emily nodded as she wrapped a protective arm around her stomach "When how" she looked at her daughter "I know you Mom and as for the other Garcia rung me" she smiled softly.

**Location: Emily's **

**Two days later March**

Emily sat staring out the window thinking about what to do she was torn she hadn't got a clue how to tell anyone she feels dirty and tainted by everything she thought she had managed to build her walls back over it and just move on. Nevertheless, inside she is broken and hurting and did not know how to ask for help, or how to open up fully.

**Dear Jennifer,**

**I know you say you are there for me and you love me, I fell for you the second I met you and that hasn't changed, I love you as well, I know you have had so much dumped on you in a short period.**

**Sarah has been through too much she has been hurt too much because of my job and my choices, but I only regret one thing and that was when she got hurt.**

**Jen she nearly died because I went undercover, and no one had my back, please do not get me wrong though, I trust the team, and I trust you.**

**But when it comes to her I trust no one and neither does she, but she sees that you make me happy and she can tell you love me, as for what I told you, it is why I haven't been back to the hospital, I feel dirty and tainted and scared and I have only ever been scared a few times in my life but this haunts me.**

**I close my eyes I see the basement, then I see the man that hurt my baby.**

**It has taken me so long to pull her through that, and in the end she pulled me back, I hide behind my walls but I allow you in because I can see you I can feel you and more than anything, I trust you.**

**I know I may make no sense but I am so unsure what to do right now, how do I tell Hotch I'm pregnant how do I choose to keep it, a reminder of the pain the hurt, the disgust I feel, I hate myself Jen and all I want to do is run!**

**I want to crawl and hide away. How do I make that feeling go away? How do I let someone catch me because I am falling and I am scared if I fall this time no one will be able to pull me back? **

**I blame myself, I was so confused the last case it ripped me apart you asked once why children get to me so much, it's because I know what it is like to see your child suffer and watch your child be beaten and. All because I could not protect her. Forgive me? Please! **

**I wanted into the BAU for so long I worked hard to get where I got, I know many of you thought my Mother pulled strings for me to get into the team, but she didn't have any hand in it, yes she would rather me be in white collar, and that is because she saw the damage that happened to me and Sarah because of my job.**

**If I hadn't gone to the bar that night, if I had asked him to leave me alone, I knew he had a thing for me Jen, but I never thought he was capable of that of this, what kind of profiler does that make me? **

**I should have seen the signs I should have known, have no clue why I let my guard down. Maybe I dissevered this on some level.**

**Maybe I didn't but, how do I get past this how do I heal and get back to me? I know you do not have the answers maybe I am writing this just so you know that I am standing on the brink and I am unsure and do not know how to get back.**

**I wanted to die! I prayed to die. It hurt so much I never knew your body could sustain so much pain and not give up or do I have something to live for? Can you live with a shell or can you save me? On the other hand, am I asking too much?**

**I am so lost right now and I know I am rambling but my mind is so jumbled. How can you look at my body and not be repulsed?**

**If I choose, to keep this child would and will you still want to stand by me? Will you hold me, or do you think I am dirty and tainted as I feel? I do not want to push you away Jennifer.**

**I need you!**

**Emily…**

**Location: BAU**

**Two days later**

"Jayj?" Garcia looked at her friend her eyes blood shocked and looking like she had just got back from a case with little sleep "Hey Pen" she said sadly not meeting her eyes "Talk to me sweetie" she said as she walked in sitting down on the chair

JJ sighed as she finally looked up at her best friend "I don't know how to help her Pen, how do I make her feel safe? Its Emily she is normally so strong so...Ugh!" She slumped further into the chair as she tried to pull herself together

"You be strong for her and we will be strong for you, give her time JJ, she has been through so much in the past few months, and if I am honest it was only a matter of time before she broke" she offers a weak smile

"she is so open yet she won't talk to me, how can I help if she doesn't talk to me, Garcia she had a bad nightmare last night and if Sarah wasn't there I don't know what I would have done" she leans back as she pinches the bridge of her nose "I just want to wrap her up and take the pain away but I know I can't"

"Give her time and love, and JJ Sarah has had 15 years to know how to deal with her," JJ chuckled "Mini Emily" Garcia nodded "Very much a mini Emily, but JJ she loves you and that is what will pull her through" Garcia smiled at her as she stood up "If you need me you know where I am and I think I can speak for everyone when I say you need anything either of you day or night you ring one of us" "thanks Pen" JJ smiled as she walked out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Location: Emily's **

**Early Afternoon**

Sarah watched her from the door studying her as she wrote she half smiled as she finally spoke "Mom you ever thought you can let her in?" Emily looked up from the table turning the paper over "What good could that possibly do?"

Sarah sighed as she walked in "You can't punish yourself for the past, you taught me that" Emily smiled not quite meeting her eyes "That would mean me fully telling her about you and" she shook her head "Mom I can tell her about me if that makes it easier, I have seen her with you Mom she loves you, do you not see that?"

Emily half-laughed "Telling her everything I could lose her" Sarah rolled her eyes "And you call yourself a profiler?" Emily frowned "What the hell is that supposed to mean"

"It means you are too close to this to see how worried she is, how close you are to the edge, I remember mom I remember everything, I remember you nearly killing yourself through guilt and I will not stand here and allow it" she said firmly

"You are stronger than you think mom, are you going to keep it?" she smiled softly as she asked her "I have no clue, what would you do?" Sarah smiled as she half-chuckled "Mom you didn't get rid of me did you, and I don't think you'd be able to get rid of the little one growing inside you" Emily nodded "When you grew up so much"

"Oh somewhere between England, France and here, you have always been here for me, allow her to be there for you" Elizabeth stood in the hall listening to what her two girls were talking about, a tear rolled down her cheek as she walked into the dining area "She is right" she said softly making them both jump "Mother" Emily looked down the shame again running over her

"How long have you been here?" Emily asked carefully "Long enough to know I am going to be a grandmother again, since you will keep it" she smiled softly as she wrapped an arm around Sarah "Oh" she offered a weak smile "Emily this was never your fault and I think Jennifer is good for you, you know she never left your side"

"Would you both be okay with me keeping" she stopped looking at her mother and daughter, they both answered her at the same time "Yes" Emily nodded

"Do you think it would be too fast to ask her to move in" Sarah and Elizabeth both laughed "We thought she already had" she looked at them both wide eyed "You, I ,you did?" "Yes but asking her might be a good idea and also bigger house?" Sarah smirked "Thank you" Emily said softly as she folded the letter up placing it in an envelope.

"So have you girls eaten?" Elizabeth asked as they both shook their heads "Well I think we should all go out and get something to eat"

**Location: BAU**

**Late Afternoon**

JJ stayed in her office most of the day unless she needed a coffee, Morgan looked up at her office as he looked at Reid "Doesn't look good does it" Reid looked up from his file to the door then to Morgan "I think it will be" he nodded not fully believing it, his phone vibrated ***come to my lair*** he chuckled "I'll be back kid" as he got up and headed out.

Garcia had allowed things to settle down before she would confront one of them, JJ had kept herself hidden aside from when she spoke to her, the atmosphere was tense and everyone was on edge, they were all worried that Emily might not come back.

"Baby girl you wanted me?" he smiled as her leant over her shoulder "So which idiot cause my brown eyed girl distress which she didn't need" Morgan stepped back slightly "I have no idea" "Well someone did, hell looking at the feed she could have pulled her gun on Rossi"

He sighed "But she didn't" he replied, as she spun round hitting his arm "ouch! What was that for" "Not having your partners back! Tell me have you got my back"

He glared at her "That is not fair, you know I have hers and your back and I always have had" "Then why aren't you there for her" she looked at him as her words soaked in "Shit... I just... she..." she raised her eyebrow "Your her best friend and partner Derek of course she needs you" she shook her head "You need to let her know you're there for her and take some of the weight off JJ"

He nodded "I will how we going to help JJ though?" "Oh that's simple" he frowned slightly "Let her vent at you and maybe take her out to the ba… a bar" he looked at her "Yeah we need a new hang out" he stated reluctantly.

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Early Evening.**

JJ finally had arrived at Emily's it had been a long day and she knew it may become longer Emily had been having bad nightmares she was also confused with where things stood between them both, she hoped that she was wrong Emily had pulled away slightly and JJ was waiting for her heart to be broken one way or another.

Slowly she opened the door as her senses were attacked by the smell that emanated from the kitchen, even though it was dark outside was coated in a dim glow of light, she sighed slightly as she walked in fully. "Emily?" she called out softly, she waited for an answer yet nothing came she carefully walked towards the dim light within the kitchen.

There in the kitchen stood Emily lost in her own world as she stirred the pan in front of her, her head nodding to the sound in her ears, JJ chuckled slightly as she walked behind the brunette, carefully she wrapped her arms around her waist, Emily smiled softly as she leaned back into the familiar body that had engulfed her. She rested her head on her shoulder turning slightly to kiss the neck "Jennifer" she husked slightly.

"Hey" JJ whispered, she finally looked around spotting the table candles scattered around the dining area "What's all this Em?" she asked softly "I made dinner" Emily simply stated as she nuzzled into her more. "You are hungry?" she asked her voice wavered slightly as she spoke. JJ nodded against her. "Go get changed babe, you have time for a shower if you want one" Emily said as she moved out of the embrace.

"I won't be long" JJ said as she moved and head out of the kitchen, her shoulders slumped slightly as she walked up stairs, as she entered the bedroom she frowned slightly as she saw an envelope on her pillow with her name on it "Emily" she whispered as she picked it up, her heart sank as she opened the letter her fears playing slightly as she began to read.

The tears rolled down her face as she read the letter her heart reached out to her she trembled slightly "Oh Emily" she muttered as wiped the tears away from her cheek, her heart broke slightly as she read the last bit, she could not think of anywhere she would rather be. She slowly placed the letter down as she began to strip out of her work clothes her mind was wrapping around what she had written.

Slowly she stepped into the shower allowing the water to run over her body her finger trailed her legs and torso running over the scars she had, she let out a dry chuckle," how can I be repulsed when I have these" she muttered to herself before stepping out of the shower, wrapping the towel around her as she began to dry herself, before getting dressed and walking back downstairs.

"Feel better?" Emily asked as JJ entered the kitchen "much better" she replied "do you need a hand with anything" JJ asked Emily shook her head slightly before she spoke "I just have to plate it you go and sit at the table Jen" her words came out as more of a hush as JJ made her way to the table taking a seat. Emily brought over two plates "Mmm looks good" JJ commented as Emily placed the plates down before taking a seat. She smiled softly "thank you"

"Jennifer we well we need to talk" Emily said softly JJ nodded "about?" "about us" Emily stated as she looked uncertainly at JJ, JJ sighed softly part of her worried Emily was going to push her away despite what the letter said "Sarah pointed a few things out to me, and well I was wondering if you'd like to move in permanently, I know you didn't sign up for this" she said as she looked down "But I also know I can't be without you, I can understand though if you say no" Emily said as she keep her eyes down, she hadn't seen JJ get out of her seat and walk around to her, lifting her chin up so that Emily was looking straight into her eyes "First off" JJ said seriously causing Emily shy away slightly "I thought I already had moved in" she said with a slight smile "And secondly I always knew life with you was never going to be dull"

She bent lower as she gently guided Emily's lips to her drawing her into a tender kiss, she broke away still smiling softly as she spoke "And thirdly I can't move in here with you" she looked straight into her eyes as tears started to fill in brown ones "But" she continued "I would gladly move into a bigger house that has a yard with you" she smiled kindly "And Emily we will tell the team everything together, I read your letter and I can promise you that I am not going anywhere other than into your arms and our home with Sarah and this little one" she said as her fingers ran over Emily's stomach "Will have two loving parents"

Her emotions became too much for her as the tears wrecked her body, JJ pulled her close "I love you Emily and that will never change" with their meal forgotten JJ took her hand "Come with me" she coaxed her slightly, taking a very nervous brunettes hand in hers she helped her stand wrapping her arms around her tightly.

JJ gently blew out the candles before taking Emily's hand again and leading her upstairs, towards their bedroom, JJ switched the light of as Emily hesitated for a moment before JJ reassured her "Your safe Em, I promise" she whispered into her ear as she ran her fingers down Emily's sides catching the outline of her breasts causing the older woman to shiver slightly, JJ tilted her head slightly as she began to kiss along her jawline up towards her lips pulling her into a deep kiss that left them both panting as they broke away.

JJ looked into her eyes which had now darkened with desire as she slowly began to undo the button on her blouse as she gently kissed her neck whispering softly into her ear as her fingers grazed over the new exposed skin, Emily shivered at the touch her blouse dropped to the floor as JJ reached behind her back undoing her bra strap, JJ carefully removed the straps allowing them to fall to the floor as one hand cupped the exposed breast as she began to guide them both back towards the bed.

Her finger gently grazed over her nipple as she spoke "lay down Em" she said softly as her pants dropped to the floor, Emily nodded slightly as she laid down on the bed her body hummed as JJ continued to kiss along her neck before settling on her pulse point causing a slight moan from the brunette as her fingers gently grazed over her nipple as she gently began to roll it between two finger as her lips kissed down her chest her tongue gently running over her skin towards her other breast JJ's lips latched around her nipple as her tongue gently grazed over it as she began to suck softly.

Emily moaned as JJ sucked gently against her breast her fingers twisting the other slightly, she pulled her closer as Emily's finger ran through her hair pulling her closer to her skin, she moaned softly against Emily as she began to kiss back up towards her lips "Jennifer" she husked as she looked into deep blue eyes leaning down as she cover her lips with her own into a deep kiss.

Emily ran her fingers over JJ's back and sides as she began to lift her top over her head breaking them both from the kiss, JJ moaned loudly as Emily cupped her breasts kneading them between her fingers, the fire burned in her stomach as Emily began to twist her nipple causing her to gasp and moan against the brunette as she settled on kissing her pulse point "God Emily yes" she moaned as finger raked against her skin.

JJ arched into her touch as her hips began to move against Emily leg, she could feel the wetness between her panties as she rocked against her thigh, JJ moved up slightly as Emily pulled her upwards gently he lips making their way to her chest, grazing her tongue over her nipple before gently sucking her teeth grazed the taut nipple before soothing it with her tongue. JJ's leg rested against her core as she continued to rock against her, Emily tensed at the touch slightly causing JJ to stop.

"Emily" her eyes met with brown ones which were basked in fear and sorrow "Shh, it's okay" she said softly as she kissed her gently, "I...I...I'm sorry" she muttered as she hid her face into the blondes, JJ ran her fingers through her hair as she spoke softly "It's okay baby, let me hold you tonight" her voice latent with love and understanding


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Location: Emily's **

**April**

It had been a good few weeks since Emily had slept the whole night without nightmares waking her she slowly stirred from her sleep feeling warm hands around her naked body as she nuzzled closer to JJ not wanting to wake or move from where they were, JJ gently moved her hair away from her face as she gently kissed her neck "Morning Em" she whispered "Mmm morning" Emily smiled as she pulled the blonde closer.

JJ had been watching her for the past two hours lost in her own thoughts for the first time in months Emily looked peaceful, she smiled softly at her "You ready for the day ahead of us" she spoke softly as Emily tensed a little "No" she replied weakly

"I won't leave you Emily but we need to tell them, but more importantly we need to tell Hotch" she kissed her forehead as her fingers ran up and down her back "You're too awake" Emily grumbled as she started to fully wake up JJ chuckled as she leaned up "That I am" she smirked down at the brunette.

Emily frowned slightly "How long have you been awake" she asked as JJ moved to get out of bed "Awhile" Emily looked at her studying her face "Hmm how long is awhile?" "Long enough to know you had a peaceful sleep for once" Emily shook her head slightly as she began to move a little too fast causing herself to become dizzy "Emily! You okay?" JJ asked as she saw the change in her "Need to pee" she replied as she tried to get up again, JJ laughed as she watched Emily near enough ran into the bathroom.

Location: BAU

Time: 8.25am

"I hope he is here I kind of want to get this over with" Emily muttered as they both stepped out of the elevator, JJ kept her hand on the small of Emily's back as they began to walk towards the doors "He should be, you'll be fine Em I promise" as they walked into the bullpen, looking up towards Hotch's office for the tell tail signs that he was there.

The dim light lit in his office cast his shadow against the blinds "Here goes nothing I guess" Emily said as they walked up the catwalk knocking on his door "Come in" he called as he looked up from his desk "JJ, Prentiss is everything okay?" he asked as a very nervous Emily walked in followed by JJ who closed the door, he motioned for them both to take a seat.

"If you're busy we can come back," Emily muttered as she walked over to the chair "What's going on," he asked softly as he looked at both his agents, "I well we. I guess" Emily stumbled over her words not knowing where to start, JJ took hold of her hand and looked at her boss with a soft smile "Just breath" JJ said softly to her as she tried to speak again.

"I guess I have a slight problem" she frowned thinking this was worse than telling her mother she was pregnant at 15, she looked away from him.

"I'm pregnant" she whispered, Hotch only just heard since she spoke so softly "Emily" he said pulling her gaze to him as she swallowed "How" JJ shook her head as tears welled in the brunettes eyes "She just around three months along" JJ spoke as she looked at him.

His face was blank for a second as he finally pieced together what JJ had said "Oh Emily" he said softly the emotion he felt for her evident in his voice, she nodded "I'm sorry" she muttered not wanting to look at him "do you need anything?" he asked as he looked between them both.

JJ smiled at him "Well two things really" she said as she held Emily's hand in her own "Can, well would you mind telling the rest" he nodded "I will, what's the second" he asked with a slight concerned gaze "Can you help us move once we have found a house?" JJ laughed as she spoke.

He looked between them both for a moment as it finally sunk in what she was really meaning "Of course, I will let the team know it is not optional" he smirked before looking fully at Emily "Emily" he said softly "You know you will have all our support" she nodded in response not fully meeting his gaze as she mumbled "thanks"

They both rose as they exited his office "JJ call everyone in to the conference room once they get in please" JJ nodded as she closed the door behind them, she placed her hand on Emily's arm "Em, you okay" she said softly "I.. Can we tell Garcia before they come in?" she said a little unsure.

JJ smiled softly "of course we can" she said as they made their way towards her lair. Knocking gently on her door, JJ opened it "You got a minute Garcia?" JJ asked as she closed the door behind them both, turning round and smiling brightly at them both

"For my favourite couple I have more than a minute" she grinned before looking at Emily "Everything okay" she asked, JJ took Emily's hand in hers as she spoke "We need to tell you something Pen" Emily suddenly found the floor a more interesting place to look as she gripped JJ's hand a little tighter wrapping her other hand around her stomach.

"Jayj? What is it" she asked noticing that Emily had become withdrawn, "Emily?" she said softly as she looked at her two best friends, gaining strength from the blonde Emily spoke her voice waving slightly as she did "I. Well I mean I'm.." she paused slightly before the words fell from her lips "pregnant" Garcia stirred slightly at them both her mouth slightly ajar as she spoke "When, how" she frowned slightly.

"Pen" JJ shook her head as she looked at Emily the tears rolling down her face her cheeks reddening in shame "Oh my god" she mumbled "Oh sweetie" her voice conveyed worry and support for bout her friends "You need anything, anything at all" JJ smiled softly "Thank you, we are having a meeting soon and you need to be there" she nodded as both of them left her lair.

Emily looked at JJ "You go ahead, I just need to" she looked over to the toilets, JJ nodded "Okay take your time okay" she squeezed her arm slightly to reassure and give comfort before she walked back into the bullpen, looking around she could not help but smiled.

Morgan was throwing makeshift aeroplanes at Reid as he was throwing balls of paper into the trashcan his arms coming up in a triumphed cheer as he shouted goal. She rolled her eyes slightly as she approached "Morning JJ" Morgan smiled as she ruffled Reid's hair "You know Hotch will take all your toys if you don't behave" she smirked slightly before she became serious.

"Where is my princess" Morgan smiled as he looked towards the doors "She won't be long but can you guys come into the conference room in about ten minutes, Has Rossi arrived" Morgan nodded at her request "He's in with Hotch" he smiled "thanks" she smiled before walking into her office.

Emily washed her face trying to gather herself together, she wasn't sure if today sucked or not yet, only time will tell she thought to herself, as she tried to settle herself before facing the firing squad. She loved the team but she was worried of what they would think of her.

She knew it was not rational but she could not help it, she sent a text **'What if they hate me?' **she hit send as she calmed herself again today was going to suck. Slowly she made her way into the bullpen giving a weak smile at Morgan before turning to make herself a drink her phone vibrated as she looked at the message **'No one is going to hate you baby x'** she let out a small smile as she saw Morgan walk towards her.

"Hey princess" he said softly he could always read her moods and he knew when to push and when not to, but looking at his partner today her couldn't work out her mood and that worried him slightly "Hey" she answered softly "We are wanted in the conference room."

She nodded "Then why are you still down here" she said with a half-smile "Well I didn't want you taking all the heat for being late" he chuckled as he wrapped his arm over her shoulder "Come on Prentiss, we can get shouted at together" Emily rolled her eyes slightly but followed him all the same.

She knew what was coming and as they, both walked into the room Morgan still had his arm around her as they both looked at their boss, he nodded as they both took a seat, and it didn't go unnoticed by the rest that Emily had become more withdrawn as she sat down.

They was less surprised to see JJ stand behind her with her hands on her shoulder as Emily half relaxed under her touch swallowing hard as she closed her eyes, she just wanted this to be over with, it seemed to drag as they waited for Garcia to arrive.

"What's going on" Morgan asked as he saw Garcia enter, Spence looked around and whispered to JJ "Is someone leaving" she gently ran her finger through his hair, she always felt like she was his big sister, but today she couldn't reassure him of anything she needed to keep it together for Emily, she wasn't sure if they would take the news bad or good.

Emily closed her eyes as Hotch started to speak, "Right first off, No one is leaving" he smiled softly at Reid to ease his worry, they all nodded in response "So what's going on" Morgan asked as he frowned slightly.

Hotch only got them all together if they were all going on a case or something worse was coming. He glanced at Emily before he spoke again giving her a reassuring smile before he started again.

"As you all know the past three months have been hard and very difficult for us all, more so for Emily and I would like to thank you all on her behalf for the support you have given her" Emily stayed silent as she leaned more into the blonde as she rubbed her shoulders.

"There are going to be some changes after recent events" he looked at his team as he spoke, Emily shifted slightly in her chair becoming more and more unsettled, sensing her unease Hotch smiled softly at her "Emily why don't you go wait in my office" she nodded as she started to move out of the room, JJ stayed in the room before walking and standing next to Hotch.

Morgan looked at them both in concern "Hotch what is going on" his voice was unsure as he spoke "In light of these events, some more information has come to light" he pause for a second, JJ touched his arm slightly as she spoke "This maybe hard and come as a shock to you all and I am hoping that you will all support us. Emily is three months pregnant"

She paused, as she looked at her friends "That…that means," Morgan couldn't get his words out as he stood up "Morgan!" Hotch warned slightly as he moved towards the door "Don't Hotch" he said as he closed the door behind him walking straight to Hotch's office, his eyes laced with concern as he opened the door looking at his partner.

"Emily" he said softly as her sad worried eyes looked at him, he smiled softly at her as he walked over to her "You could have come to me princess" he said softly as he took hold of her hands "I…didn't know" she swallowed slightly.

"I will always have your back, your my friend my partner and above anything I love you" he said as he looked straight into her chocolate eyes, she nodded "come on" he said as he pulled her to her feet "We are family and family stick together" he wrapped his arm around her as he guided her back into the room "You know Derek is a great name" he said playfully as she punched his arm softly.

She took her seat as Morgan stood behind her looking at both Hotch and JJ "Why do I feel there is more coming" Emily chuckled slightly as JJ spoke "Well since you have asked" she smirked as she looked at a more relaxed Emily.

"We are going to need your help in moving," she laughed as Hotch spoke "And it is not optional" He stared at his team in all seriousness, Reid spoke slightly unsure of what to say, "Do we congratulate you? Normally when people" "Reid!" they all said at once silencing the young genius, Emily laughed slightly as she looked at him and nodded.

**Location: Emily's**

**Time: 5.33am**

Luckily, the team had been given some time off since they had, had nothing but back-to-back cases for the past few weeks Emily began to tire more JJ had become more worried that Emily was not fully slowing down or had not fully taken herself out of the field.

Which had become something or a disagreement with them all, Hotch had finally put his foot down though and told her she had to stay in the office and help JJ or Reid, no more time in the field unless they were interviewing.

This was a week they had been waiting for, today they would find out the sex of the baby, they had also planned a few viewing of different houses after Garcia and Morgan had ganged up on them, they were due for an early start, the appointment for her scan was at 8.45am then they were meeting Sarah for breakfast before heading to meet Garcia and Morgan, but morning sickness was not part of the plan.

Emily had been pulled out her sleep with a half cough as her stomach churned as she half ran towards the bathroom she never had chance to grab her gown or reach the toilet before the sickness started her head lulled against the cool porcelain bowl as her body sagged against the cold surface of the floor as she mumbled to herself "no more not sleeping without clothes" she grumbled to herself as the coldness attacked her skin.

Emily groaned slightly as she rested her head over the toilet as she began to vomit again, she rubbed her stomach slightly as she tried to settle the sickness down, JJ stirred from her sleep as she moved her hand over to where Emily should be, the covers were cold as she moved more before the noise disturbed her thoughts more "Shit" she mumbled as she struggled to free herself from the covers,

She winced as she glanced at the clock before walking towards the bathroom, "Emily" she whispered softly as to not startle her, Emily groaned in response, JJ shook her head as she walked over to her rubbing her back gently, she mumbled "morning" JJ shook her head slightly "let me run you a bath" JJ said as she turned the taps on "you must be freezing" JJ muttered as she continued to rub her back.

Emily nodded "Not how I wanted my morning to start" she grumbled, JJ chuckled slightly as she pressed her lips on the back of her head "Not a good look either baby" she responded as she pulled her hair back out of her face noting that she hadn't fully managed to make it to the toilet in time.

But today of all days she wished that the morning sickness would relent or at least start at a decent hour, Emily leaned back slightly into JJ's body as the bath had finished filled, "let's get you cleaned up sweetie" she whispered into her ear as she helped her off the floor.

Emily turned slightly as she wrapped her arms around JJ's body resting against her shoulder "Didn't mean to wake you" she muttered as JJ carried on rubbing her back soothingly "You didn't, but really Em, you need a bath" she smirked as she kissed her forehead

"Is that your way of telling me I stink" Emily grumbled as she stepped into the warm bath "In a sense yes" JJ teased, Emily shivered slightly as the heat met her cold skin, "What time are they coming round" she groaned "I think around 10, but Sarah will met us here for breakfast" JJ said as she started running the cloth over Emily's body.

It had been three full months since she was attacked and Emily still hadn't been able to fully look at herself, she had caught the odd glimpse in the mirror but she still shied away, yet she allowed JJ to look at her, she still felt shame but JJ made her feel loved and beautiful even though she didn't feel it herself, well not yet anyway.

She leaned into the touch as JJ started to wash her hair, she flinched slightly as she looked into blue eyes, the sadness was still there but not as much as before and despite things, Emily was getting back to her somewhat normal self.

"Jennifer" she whispered as she moved back into her touch "Yes sweetie" JJ smiled she was use to this every now and again Emily would flinch or become a little skittish but it was happening less and less,

The nightmares were slowly fading and only seemed to appear if they had a case that hit a little close to home for her, but the words that came next JJ was not fully ready for. "I'm ready," Emily whispered softly as she gazed into her eyes feeling the warmth and love within them.

JJ frowned slightly before the smile took over "Are you sure Em" she asked hoping that Emily wasn't pushing herself too fast, she nodded against her hand which was rested on her cheek brushing softly against her skin

"Let's get you out of the bath then baby" she spoke softly as she helped her up wrapping the warmed towel around her body, they both walked into the bedroom as Emily walked over to the full lengthen mirror she turned and looked at JJ.

"Jennifer" she mumbled trying to keep her composer, JJ smiled as she walked behind her wrapping her arms around her waist "I'm here sweetie" she smiled softly as Emily leaned into her fully.

JJ gently gripped the top of the towel keeping hold of Emily's gaze through the mirror she whispered softly in her ear "You're sure babe" Emily nodded against her keeping the gaze as JJ gently removed the towel running her fingers down her sides.

Emily stared into the mirror taking an unsteady breath she let her eyes wander, her breasts were marred with a criss-cross line where the whip had sliced her skin, and they were still red even though they had healed.

JJ gently traced her finger along each scar on her chest a tear ran down her cheek as her fingers reached to her core, JJ stilled her fingers pulling them away as she held her gaze again "Shh, it's okay" she soothed as Emily let out a shuddered breath,

She knew she would need surgery to correct all the damage done to her core she leaned fully into the blonde hiding her face, JJ ran her fingers gently through her hair "You are beautiful Emily" she said softly as she laid a soft kiss on her temple.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Boy or girl?

Location: Gynaecologist Appointment

8.38am

Emily sat in the waiting area her hand clasped tightly with JJ's as her foot tapped nervously on the floor, JJ had tried to still her movements and reassure her that everything would be okay.

But as she had learnt over the past few months Emily never believed things would go smoothly, not just because of what had happened to her but mainly due to her upbringing and work,

"Emily please" JJ tried again the constance tapping on the floor was slowly driving the blonde insane, Emily looked into blue eyes as she tried to still her movements "I'm sorry, I... well what if" she was cut short by a now very impatient blonde "Will you just stop, before you have me checking myself into the mental ward" she glared at her.

"Please tell me you wasn't like this when you was pregnant with Sarah or god help me" JJ mumbled to a now very still quite brunette, JJ looked at her with wide eyes "Oh god, you was wasn't you!" JJ said slightly gobsmacked as she ran her hand through her hair. Emily looked at her slightly a soft smile escaped her lips as she finally replied "Will it make you feel better if I said I was worse" she half chuckled.

She remembered the first time all to clearly, she sat with her mother in the small waiting room as people stare at her she was uncomfortable and it didn't help that her mother's disapproving gaze was fixed intently on her.

JJ shook her head "Why am I not surprised by that" she chuckled as it dawned on her "You was with your Mother wasn't you" she tried her best to hold back a smirk as the image of the brunette being carted into the office and awaiting for someone to come and check on her and the baby.

"Yes she was and please stop smirking, it so was not the most pleasantest of experiences and back then me and my mother didn't really see eye to eye" she smiled softly as she carried on slowly relaxing "I was rebelling against everything and more so against politics" Emily sniggered.

"And yes my Mother disapproved greatly I was an embarrassment to her back then but when she held Sarah, it changed everything, she turned into a doting grandmother and mother, to say it was strange was an understatement" Emily sighed slightly as she was pulled out of her memories by the nurse calling her name.

"Ms Prentiss?" the young nurse stood looking at the two women, as they both rose Emily keeping hold of JJ's hand as they walked into the room "If you would like to lay on the table and relax for a few moments while I go and get your Doctor" she smiled brightly as she exited the room through another door.

Emily rolled her eyes as she got onto the bed laying back, looking to JJ "Jennifer" she said softly "it may sound bad but I hope it's a girl" she said somewhat sadly as she looked into understanding blue eyes "I know sweetie, but no matter what we will love her or him" as she spoke she ran her finger softly against her cheek trying to convey as much support as she could.

The slightly tapping on the door pulled them both out of their own thoughts as an older lady walked into the room "Good morning ladies" she greeted brightly "Morning" they replied in unison, her soft gaze landed on Emily as a small smile emanated from her lips.

"First things first so you feel more comfortable, my name is Dr Young, I have been asked to take over your care, since it was felt you would feel more comfortable with a female" she smiled warmly, Emily smiled at her "Thank you" she said softly the thought of a male touching her still made her cringe on the inside.

"It also may be easier if you was to be in a gown as I need to be able to see if you can have a natural birth or if it will be easier for you to have a C-section" she waited for the information to sink in to the brunette before she continued "I have spoken to Dr Grant and he has informed me of" JJ interrupted before she unsettled Emily more then she already was; the death grip that Emily had on her hand was a sure sign to how uncomfortable she was with this conversation.

"If you would give us a moment so Emily can put a gown on" JJ said softly her voice steady and strong as she looked at Emily "Of course" she smiled as she turned to leave the room to give them both some privacy. "Jennifer I can't" Emily shook her head suddenly very uncomfortable with the thought of someone looking at her core.

"Can we just tell her a C-section would be for the best" Her eyes pleaded with the blonde, but JJ shook her head "Emily no one is going to judge you and you have nothing to be ashamed of and she needs to" JJ sighed softly "For me" she held the brunettes eyes in her own as she ran her fingers softly down her arm to steady her.

"I will be here I am not going anywhere baby" she murmured lovingly in her ear she slowly reached for the green and white gown that was resting on the chair. Emily reluntaly swung her legs over the table as she stood letting her pants slide to the ground placing the gown over her she laid back down onto the table as they waited for the Doctor to come back.

The soft tap on the door told them she had returned as JJ's soft voice filled the room "Come in" the door open as the Doctor walked in a soft smile on her face as she closed the door behind her "I know this maybe uncomfortable for you Ms Prentiss" Emily cut her off "Please call me Emily" she requested as she gripped the blondes hand "try and relax" she said softly.

"Can you bend your knees for me" she asked softly as she noticed Emily had closed her eyes leaning into the blonde more, her heart went out to these two, she had read the file which Dr Grant had given her and knew the injury's which she had injured.

She placed the gloves on her hands as she lifted the gown slightly to give better access to her, gently she covered Emily's lower body back up as she smiled softly at the blonde. "C-section maybe the way to go" she said to them both "Emily if you want when you have the C-section and we could correct the damage to make it more comfortable" she pause as Emily opened her eyes looking at her sadly "I'd appreciate that" she admitted.

"Well you have a think about it, you do not have to come to a decision today but it is an option" She replied softly "Right shall we see how the little one is and if I am able to depending on what position the baby is in you might be able to find out the sex if you would like" both Emily and JJ responded together "we would like that" they both smiled as the Doctor lowered the gown down exposing her stomach.

Emily flinched slightly as the Doctors eyes looked at her scared body closing her eyes again as she rested her cheek against JJ's hand which was lovingly stroking her fears away "Right Emily this will feel cold on your skin" she smiled warmly at her as she placed the gel in her stomach.

Emily's muscle's contracted under the coldness of the gel letting her body get use to the unfamiliar sense as the doctor started the scan, a soft beating could be heard from the machine as Emily turned her face looking at the grainy screen "Is that" Emily muttered

The doctor looked at her smiling "That would be a very strong heartbeat, must take after you" she smiled as JJ smirked "God I hope it doesn't have your stubbornness" Emily rolled her eyes slightly as she fixated herself watching the screen in front of her "Are you able to tell" she asked as she watched the small thing inside her shift slightly. The Doctor smiled softly at them both "I think this is a stubborn one doesn't seem to want to move"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Location: Emily's **

**9.45am**

Elizabeth had dropped Sarah off after they had been looking around schools, Sarah wanted to be back at home now and not board anymore. She missed her mom and now she was more worried about her than ever, she knew that this had sent her into a spiral and that she still was putting on the famous Prentiss front to everyone.

There were many reasons why Sarah was at boarding school, her mother's job had played a big part but also the school knew her before she had been taken, they knew not to crowd her or touch her, she had a private dorm because she could not fully settle around people. But now she wanted her mom.

She was not happy about her being pregnant but she knew it was not the babies fault and she would never blame it for what had happened to her mom. She was more comfortable around JJ as well now, not comfortable enough to allow her to touch her but she also did not shy away from her as much. As far as Sarah was concern, JJ made her mom happy.

She pulled up the chair in the kitchen as she began to look through the broachers that scattered over the table, her mom told her this was more of her choice than hers and JJ's as a way of giving her some control over things.

Sarah chuckled to herself as she mulled through them "Must be JJ's choice" she mused as she looked at the small brownstones she shook her head slightly as she pulled another booklet out of her bag which Elizabeth had picked for them to look through, they were new properties, had large gardens and double garages, she knew JJ might have felt uncomfortable, either that or she really didn't know the full extent of her mother's estate.

The key rattling in the door disturbed her from her thoughts "Mom is that you?" Sarah said softly as she began to pour out three coffees "Who else would it be" Emily mused as the door slammed shut "how did it go" Emily smiled softly "the baby is healthy" she grinned as JJ picked up the cup smelling the aroma that came from the coffee "Thanks Sarah" she grinned.

"How did it go with your grandmother?" Emily asked, "It went okay the school seem good mom" Sarah paused slightly "But?" Emily pushed slightly "Mom I don't want to go back" "School in general or just boarding?" Emily asked "Just boarding mom" Emily nodded "Then you stay here until we find a school that you can settle at, if not I will sort something out okay" Sarah nodded as she pushed the broachers in front of her.

"Grandma said to give these to you" Emily rolled her eyes "Thanks" JJ gasped as she looked over Emily's shoulder "We can't afford somewhere like that" she whispered as she looked at the front cover. Her hand gently resting on her lower back. JJ moved walking over to the fridge leaving both Emily and Sarah too look at the houses, as she started to get the food together for their breakfast which had now slowly turned into brunch.

Sarah let out a startled laugh as she nudged her mother "You not told her yet have you" Emily pulled herself out of her thoughts "Huh?" "And you say I need finishing school" Sarah joked "Oh, well no I haven't because it has never come up in conversation" Emily said as she looked at a now slightly anxious JJ "Jennifer, just have a look through and see what you like and we can take it from there" she paused slightly "Just keep it away from Garcia" she teased as JJ skimmed through the glossy pages "Why are there no prices?" JJ questioned as she looked through the pages

Emily laughed slightly "The prices might put people off" she shrugged as she spoke "That is not really an answer Em" JJ muttered "Let's just say they are way over $200.00 and leave it at that" Emily smirked "We will talk later about it okay" Emily smiled softly "So what we having to eat" Sarah asked looking at JJ "Well I was thinking maybe a salad since it is now 10.30am and Morgan and Garcia will be around shortly" both Sarah and Emily nodded as they started looking through the pages.

"Jennifer would you rather live in a gated community or not?" she asked slightly distracted as she looked at a beautiful picture. The house was large 5 bedrooms with an annex attached, two double garages a pool and very spacious garden, three rooms downstairs and a beautiful large kitchen, JJ looked over Emily's shoulder as she placed the food in front of her "Wow!" she murmured as she took the seat next to her "Emily that must cost a fortune" she said in a hushed voice

Emily shrugged "Maybe but would be worth it, should we see if we can book a viewing today and all five of us can go and look" Sarah interrupted slightly "Mom am I okay to come and look as well?" Emily smiled softly as she spoke "Your moving with us aren't you" Emily replied her mind was in other places right now as she slowly turned the pages.

JJ looked through the pages and found a few more houses she would like to look at but she had also pointed out she didn't want to be spending a small fortune on a house which Emily disagreed with "You two sound like an old married couple" Sarah joked as they argued over where they would like to live

"I…Well..." Emily struggled to get her words out as she stared at Sarah before looking at a now blushing blonde "Please ignore my daughter some days she forgets she is a teenager not a child" she scowled at her slightly 'Sorry' Sarah mouthed sensing her mother was slightly annoyed with her.

After a few phone calls, they had viewing set up for the afternoon to view four properties. They sat there in comfortable silence as they waited for Morgan and Garcia to arrive.

Emily had lost herself in thoughts, as the silence washed over them

'**A change is sometimes good, it means you are able to either put demons to bed or simply move past them. Even learn to live with and through the scars, but sometimes it comes at a cost or not depending on what circumstances are drawn your way! **

**There is that saying out with the old in with the new. However, this was it really in her eyes.**

**Emily Prentiss was no longer the person she was. She was different and she felt it she knew it, but some part of her liked this new person the other side hated it.**

**She had become skittish around people if they came to close or if a touch was unwelcomed or the touch came unexpectedly, she would flinch away. **

**The nightmares no longer plagued her as they had for the first few months sometimes though they came back and the shame and fear would engulf her mind.**

**She knew the best thing that had come out of it all was Jennifer after years of trying to hide her feelings she had finally admitted to her, though it had been through a third person or persons, which she didn't mind she knew her mother and friends meant well.**

**However, this right here, right now, was what mattered and maybe just maybe she would be able to ask the question she had been planning for the past month to ask, part of her thought it was too soon, but her heart ruled her head for once. **

**Hopefully I will get my answer tonight' **

Emily thought to herself.

**Time**** 11.15am**

A slight knock on the door pulled Emily out of her thoughts as she went to stand to get it, but JJ had managed to beat her too it, the enthusiastic voice of Garcia could be heard all through the house as Sarah muttered slightly before the two came in to the kitchen "Mom why does she have to be so loud?" Emily laughed, "You know what she's like Sarah, just remember she won't hurt you okay," Emily said softly as Sarah nodded.

"Hey princess" Morgan greeted as he walked into the kitchen followed by a now whispering JJ and Garcia "Hey yourself" Emily smiled "Emily" Garcia said brightly as she looked at her "Hi Sarah" "Hey too you both" Sarah said as she moved the dishes from the table. "Mom, I am" she tensed slightly as Emily moved next to her taking hold of her hand "You are staying right here okay" she whispered in her ear.

"You guys want a coffee?" JJ asked as they sat down "please" they both answered, so where are we going to start looking" Morgan asked as he looked at all the books spread across the table "Well we have a few viewing's this afternoon then maybe we could all go out for dinner?" Emily said smiling softly. Causing Sarah to try and pull away the sheer thought of being in a car trapped in the back scared her slightly

Morgan looked at Sarah "We will be following you right?" Emily shook her head "No we can go together Sarah will be shotgun with me though" she squeezed Sarah's hand slightly.

Garcia clasped her hands together as she started looking through them "Wow Emily some of these are just beautiful" she beamed as she picked up the ones that Sarah had.

JJ finished making the drinks as she handed Emily a ginger ale smirking as the brunette looked at her "Thanks" as she ran her hand over the small bump that was now showing, "How are you doing Emily" Morgan asked as he watched her with concern "I'm good just been a very long morning" she smiled as she sipped her drink.

Soon they were bundled into Emily's SUV driving towards the gated community, there were more good points to the houses here they were far enough out on the outskirts but also closer to work if they were late or they came late back from a case.

"Emily you sure you know where you're going" Garcia asked as they pulled up to the security office to let them through "Yes I do" she mused the drive had been quite for most part aside for Morgan and Garcia talking in the back as JJ kept her eye on Emily and Sarah.

They pulled into the driveway of the first house and was greeted by the estate agent "Emily, it is so good to see you" she beamed as she shook her hand, looking at the four other people standing by the car, Morgan let out a small whistle as he eyed up the outside of the property "This looks really nice" he muttered to himself.

Emily kept Sarah close to her side as they started up the driveway "mom" Sarah whispered "Too many?" Sarah nodded "You want to stay with me" Sarah shook her head and looked at JJ who was hanging back slightly. "You're sure" Emily gave her a slightly pointed look "yes" Emily smiled "Okay, just tell her you want to stay with her away from the rest okay" Sarah nodded as she made her way over to JJ.

"Shall we go inside" Rachel said as she lead them towards the front door and opening it for them to enter "Thanks they all muttered as they walked in JJ's jaw dropped slightly she gasped loudly "Emily" she whispered as she gripped hold of her arm. "Would you like me to show you around or would you like to look yourselves?" she asked, "Do you mind if we look ourselves please" Emily replied looking at Sarah and JJ.

JJ was speechless as they walked into one of the rooms. It was big and spacious with a lovely view of the front garden; it had an open fire in the middle of the far wall that had bookshelves at either side, "Have these ever been lived in?" JJ asked, "I don't think so" Sarah muttered as they walked into the second room. Which was slightly larger, there was enough room to get a nice dining table in and still they'd have plenty of room it was set just to the side of the kitchen.

The kitchen was very big and fully of the latest gizmos a six ringed gas stove two ovens were built in to the units which also used a grill, it had a larger island in the middle and a rack hanging down for all the utensils to go on which meant more cupboard space the door to the side opened up to another room that looked out to the back garden, it consisted of double doors and two more full windows, this room also housed a fire though it was more concealed than the front room.

Emily walked behind JJ wrapping her arms around her waist "Shall we take a look upstairs" she whispered in her ear as she placed a kiss on her cheek, JJ could only nod in response as Emily guided them all upstairs, the master bedroom came with an en-suite that had a bath and shower cubicle and plenty of room, the bedroom had four built in wardrobes and could easily fit a four poster bed in.

They left the room they looked into the other four rooms, all were spacious and light and one that could be used as a guest room, as they headed back down the stairs to meet Rachel, who was sat in the kitchen Emily spoke softly "Can I see the annexe?" Rachel nodded and guided them all to the side door, which looked more as if it could be a cupboard, the annexe itself was minimal but enough room for two people, and it consisted of two bedrooms a kitchen a small dining area and a nice spacious lounge.

"Emily there is a small surprise for you if you all want to follow me back downstairs" Rachel smiled as she took them all through to the garage opening the single door which lead down into a basement "You guys have a look I'll wait up here" Emily said as she looked down at the stairwell leading to the basement, JJ looked at her for a moment "Em, you okay" Emily smiled softly though the smile didn't reach her eyes as she whispered "Too soon" JJ nodded understanding why Emily would rather not go down there.

The three of them followed Rachel down; leaving Sarah and Emily upstairs. It was very cool in there and along the walls and down the middle housed wine racks with enough room to store 100's of bottles "It is tempered controlled down here and runs off a separate supply source" she commented as Morgan eyes bugged nearly out of his head "Wow, I know where I'll be staying now" he grinned causing Garcia to slap his arm "Ouch! What was that for" she just glared at him slightly before they all headed back upstairs.

"Well princess that will keep your wine very much cool and safe" he smirked "Is there room for beer as well?" Emily asked as JJ nodded, "Shall we have a look outside?" Emily asked JJ nodded as they all headed out into the garden, the back garden was spacious with a heated pool "Morgan would you be able to put railings around that?" Emily asked Morgan smirked "Of course I can" he said with a wink causing Emily to roll her eyes, "I forgot you're male and macho" she joked.

"Emily two of the other houses you have asked to view are the same layout as this really, so would you rather just look at the last one?" Rachel asked "Just let me ask Jennifer" she smiled before walking over to JJ "Jennifer the other two are like this so if you like we can just go and look at one more and then go for food" she smiled softly as her stomach growled making itself known to all. "That maybe a very good idea can't have you going hungry" JJ smirked.

"Mom can I stay here please" Sarah said as the car stopped "You going to be alright on your own", she asked as Sarah nodded "Okay just beep if you need me okay" "Thanks mom"

The house was very much the same as the other, but the one difference to it which had JJ grinning like mad, to the side of the master bedroom was a locked door as they entered it housed an office with enough room for them both to work and also keep the files safe as well as two tables "Emily this is just" Emily laughed "let's look at the bathroom" she smirked knowing that this may sell her the house more.

The house was much larger than the others and had three bathrooms but the one in the master bedroom had a special added feature a Jacuzzi, JJ's eyes went wide as she looked at it "Emily" she whispered slightly breathless "This is beautiful, but" she trailed off slightly "Jennifer if you want we can think about it we don't have to say yes right now or anything and there are also things you need to know okay" she smiled softly. "but right here isn't the time or place we will talk about it tonight" JJ nodded, though she had to admit she had fallen in love with this house and could already see them living somewhere like this.

"Rachel we will think over these tonight and hopefully I will be able to give you an answer tomorrow" she smiled "That is fine Emily, tell your mother I said hello won't you" "Of course" she replied as they headed back outside towards the car.

"So where we going to eat" Morgan asked from the back seat "Well I really feel like grilled cheese" Emily smirked "But we can always find a Chinese or a grill house" she gave a reassuring smile to Sarah as JJ spoke "Sarah where do you want to go."

JJ knew Sarah had, had enough really, for one day she had kept close to JJ while Emily had spoken to the others, but she could tell from the look on her face she was beginning to unsettle more and more. "Grill house please"

They drifted into the early evening laughing and joking over the meal, JJ yawned slightly resting her head on Emily's shoulder Emily ran her finger through the blondes hair "I think we should get this one home" Emily teased to the very sleepy blonde at her side as she waved the waiter over so they could pay "My treat guys" Emily said as they started to pull their money out "Oh I'm house hunting with you more often if I get fed" he grinned.

JJ dozed in the car as they pulled up outside "Sarah you go and open the door please" Sarah nodded before getting out the car. Emily turned to Morgan not fully wanting to disturb the sleeping blonde "Can you give me a hand getting her inside please" she smiled softly. Morgan half-carried JJ into the house, helping her on to the sofa she mumbled her thanks as she settled on the sofa.

Emily let them both out thanking them for coming with them as she walked back in locking the door behind her, "Mom she is nearly asleep" Sarah said softly "I know I'll wake her so we can go to bed and Sarah you did really well today" she smiled softly before making her way towards the couch, she knelt down next to JJ, slowly coxing her to wake up so they could go upstairs.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**I was thinking since I have changed Sarah slightly age wise... If maybe, you would like to read the back-story to why she is so scared around people. **

**Location: Emily's **

**3.15am**

JJ moaned softly her body tingling from the dream she was in she snuggled more into the warmth that laid next to her, as she relaxed more into the dream opening her legs more to the fingers that were trailing her skin, she sighed softly through another moan her body becoming more alive.

Emily let out a quite giggle as she toyed with the blondes nipple gently rolling it between her fingers as her over hand traced over her pubic bone her lips were around her other nipple sucking softly as the blonde moaned under her, she felt JJ cuddle closer to her and her legs open more, she was taken aback with the warmth she felt emanating from her, in slow movements she let her fingers trail through the blondes folds, feeling the wetness that was already there.

JJ moaned again as she whispered her name "Emily, mmm" her hips moved slightly, Emily chuckled against her breast as she ran her tongue over a very taut nipple before gently nipping it between her teeth, as her fingers ghosted through her folds she began to trace soft kisses across her chest dragging her tongue down towards her stomach dipping it gently and circling it around the entrance of her naval, JJ moaned loudly now her muscle's twitched in her stomach.

Emily never stopped and for JJ's part she was still in her lovely dream, the one that had been going on for the past month, Emily feathered the kisses as well as using her tongue as she moved down towards her goal, JJ reached over to hold Emily and pull her closer but her fingers meet empty sheets, as Emily blew cool air over her core before her tongue feathered over her folds teasingly.

JJ moaned louder this time as her mind came out of the blissful sleep it was in, her body highly attuned and aroused as her hand searched for Emily just as she felt a tongue run up the full length of her core, Emily smiled and moaned as she breathed in the smell of her arousal gently coxing her clit from the hood as her tongue ghosted over it before gently taking it between her lips.

JJ gasped her fingers tangling in the brunettes causing her to look up which intern caused her to moan before settling back between her legs, JJ was flushed with arousal as she moaned loudly she realised just how close she was to her climax "Yes, Emily, yes" she almost chanted as Emily dipped her tongue into her core, before returning back to sucking and nipping on her clitorises, slowly and gently Emily ran her finger through her folds her mouth never breaking contact she eased two fingers in to her centre as she gently pushed her in to her climax.

She waited for the waves of her climax to settle as she removed her fingers JJ moaned softly at the loss of contact as Emily trailed kisses up towards her lips pulling her into a passionate kiss running her tongue along JJ's lower lip to be allowed entry which JJ was all too willing to give, Emily moaned into her mouth as the JJ moan tasting herself on Emily, gently she pulled away when the need for air became too much for them she smiled softly into swirling blue eyes "Mmm hey" Emily whispered. JJ still reeling from the climax that had taken over her senses smiled lovingly at her "Wow" was all she managed as she moved closer to Emily's body.

After a few moments silence the words came out as she moved closer into her arms "Emily, I love you" she whispered "I love you too" Emily grinned as she placed a kiss to her temple before pulling away slightly "Where, what" JJ mumbled as she felt her pull away "Need to pee" Emily half groaned as she moved from the bed hearing JJ giggle as she walked into the bathroom.

JJ had turned the bedroom lamp on by the time Emily had returned looking at her with doting eyes "Not that I am complaining but" Emily raised her hand "You started it, I just finished it" she smirked as she climbed back into the bed "Oh sorry" she blushed "Never be sorry and never say sorry for that" she chuckled as she pulled her closer switching the lamp off so they could get a few more hours sleep.

**6.45am**

JJ nuzzled closer as they both began to stir from there slumber "Morning beautiful" Emily said as JJ opened her eyes wiping away the sleep, "Mmm morning" Emily chuckled slightly taking in a full look at the woman she loved "Sleep well" Emily mused causing JJ to laugh "I had the best dream, but someone woke me up" she teased back as she leant in to kiss her softly "I'll remind you of that" Emily teased back as she pulled out of the kiss.

"I guess we should get up" Emily almost groaned she had woken back up hungry and very thirsty and yet again she felt like her bladder was going to bust as she lifted the covers to go to the bathroom, JJ lied there for a moment with a silly grin on her face as Emily watched from the doorway before walking back in "You look like the cat that got the cream" she mused.

"Mmm" JJ replied her mind still on their early morning actives "Just thinking about last night" she said softly "Oh did I miss something?" Emily teased which caused JJ to roll her eyes "Too early Prentiss I really need coffee before your wit gets too much for me" JJ said playfully as she finally climb out of the covers and headed straight for the bathroom

Emily poured them both a coffee as they sat at the breakfast bar "Em, how are we, well I mean, that house was, but" JJ couldn't seem to get her words out, Emily laughed softly "For someone who uses words for a living you can't seem to convey any this morning" she teased "seriously Em, that house has got to be" Emily shook her head it was still too early in the morning but she knew she would have to tell her sooner or later.

"Jennifer we can afford it and plus I think Sarah will feel more safe there" she started as JJ shook her head "How though I know how much you get paid and well it isn't that great" she said looking into deep chocolate eyes, Emily smiled "Just give me a second" Emily said as she got up walking over to the safe that was in the front room, pulling out a box that had all her finances in she brought it over to the table placing it down between them.

"I guess this is where you find everything out" she mused as she looked JJ "Right first off, please do not let this scare you in anyway and please put your cup down" Emily said waiting for JJ to place her coffee cup down on the table, "Jennifer we can afford the house so please stop worrying if you like it we can go and sign or even pay for it today though I am sure it will take a few weeks to go through" Emily smirked. "As for this it's only money or building" she handed over a file, which were for her restaurant, a vineyard, and coffee plantation she also owned "Emily you own these?" Emily nodded "Also a villa in France a cottage in England and not forgetting this building" Emily smiled as JJ' looked at her with an opened mouth.

Sarah has a trust fund which she is not allowed to touch till she is 25, I also have a trust fund and a few other bank accounts which I hardly use unless I really need to" she took a breath as she study a very quiet JJ "Is this too much for you, to take in" JJ shook her head "I just Emily that's a hell of a lot of money" Emily laughed "It is enough for me to pay for the house and us to be comfortable" JJ shook her head slightly "I know this is a lot to take in Jen" JJ couldn't help but laugh "A lot to take in Emily is an understatement.

Emily's head snapped around as the resounding sound of Sarah could be heard "Em," Emily swallowed as she moved "I won't be long can you make her a coffee" Emily said as she moved to make her way upstairs. JJ nodded as she turned the now familiar machine on as she listened to the screams that came from upstairs.

Emily slowly made her way into her daughter's bedroom as she watched Sarah trash in the bed, carefully she sat down giving her enough room to not scare her anymore "SarSa" she said softly as she reached her hand over slowly "Shh, sweetheart it's just a dream" Emily said softly. Sarah froze slightly caught between the nightmare and the fear of the hand near her "era" Emily said softly.

Sarah held her mothers eyes in her own as she carefully reached out her hand gripping her fingers tightly. "Mater" Sarah whispered as Emily nodded softly "It was just a dream darling" Emily smiled softly as Sarah moved closer to her "Shh, I've got you sweetheart" Emily said calmly as she wrapped her arms around her. Sarah calmed down slightly as she curled more in to her mom. Emily rubbed her back carefully "You think you can get up baby, JJ has made you a drink" Sarah nodded as Emily placed a soft kiss on her brow.

JJ placed the cups down on the table as Emily walked down stairs "Is she okay?" JJ said softly Emily sighed softly "She hasn't had a nightmare in a long time Jen," Emily said as she placed a soft kiss on JJ's lips "She will down shortly" JJ nodded as Emily move to sit across from her. Sarah slowly made her way downstairs she looked at JJ before looking back upstairs. "Era" she called softly pulling her daughters attention "mommy" she whispered as Emily motioned her to sit on her lap.

Sarah watched JJ as she walked in slightly unsure as Emily moved to wrap her arms around her "You're safe Sarah," she whispered as she pulled her on to her lap. JJ smiled softly "Your mom and me have been talking" JJ said pulling Sarah's attention "Did you like that area we looked at yesterday?" her voice was soft and calm.

Over the years JJ had learnt to not bring attention to her unease as she clung to Emily, she always reminded JJ of a scared child when she got like this. Emily would never say what had happened to Sarah and no one would push the matter. Even though Sarah caused problems or trouble at school, Emily would often say it was the time of year or that she just wanted to come home. However, JJ just hoped she could get Sarah's full trust over time.

Sarah nodded as her voice wavered slightly "Yeess" JJ smiled "Well we was thinking of buying the last house we looked at" Sarah nodded as she hid slightly against Emily. Emily ran her fingers through Sarah's hair "Is that okay sweetheart" "When Karen coming?" Emily smiled "She should be at Grandma's this week so when we go back to work on Monday you are going to stay there okay just until everything is sorted baby" Emily said gently.

"Right sweetheart will you be okay with JJ while I go and make a phone call?" she asked softly, Sarah tensed slightly before relaxing. "Right jump up for me sweetie" Emily smiled as she got off her making her way out the room. "Would you like some breakfast, I was thinking bacon on toast or pancakes," JJ said as she moved away to give her the space she needed.

"Jennifer?" JJ turned raising her eyebrow slightly, Sarah always called her JJ "Yes" Sarah looked around nervously "I'm sorry I disturbed you before" JJ smiled "You didn't, so no need for sorry okay" she smiled kindly. "Jennifer" JJ wanted to roll her eyes, as Sarah seemed slightly lost without her mom around "Yes darling" Sarah struggled slightly to find the words as it came out in a slight rush "you okay with me being here"

JJ looked at her in shock, she wanted to wrap her arms around and make her see she was wanted and she was not trying to push her out. "What makes you think I'm not Sarah?" Sarah began to find the floor a more interesting place to look as JJ pushed slightly "Sarah answer me please"

JJ moved slightly closer keeping her movements slow "Talk to me darling" Sarah swallowed as she looked into caring and understanding blue eyes "the baby" JJ moved more "can I sit next to you Sarah?" Sarah watched her for a moment remembering what her mom had said the other day as she nodded.

"I want you to listen to me, can you do that?" Sarah nodded as JJ sat and rested her hand on the table so Sarah could see them "That baby, is your brother or your sister and I can promise you that you are part of that and I want you here, I also would like you to trust me that I won't hurt you or your mom" Sarah reached her hand out slightly to grip JJ's hand as JJ kept still.

Emily watched from the doorway as her daughter leaned into JJ, her heart soared it had taken just over 2 years for her to allow anyone that close that wasn't her or her mother she could hear the whispered voice of her daughter fly softly around the room "hold me? Please" JJ watched her for a moment as she doubled checked "You're sure" Sarah nodded as JJ gently wrapped her arms around her pulling her close.

**Latin**

**era = sweetheart**

**mater = mummy**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

JJ ran her fingers gently down Sarah's arm as she held her close, she would have sworn Sarah could hear it but they kept quiet for a moment until Sarah whispered "Mom seeing Morgan today?" JJ nodded "She is sweetheart" Sarah's grip got a little tighter "You don't have to stay here when he comes Sarah" she whispered causing Sarah to nod "Are you not staying with them?" JJ smiled "Sarah your mom and Morgan together for a whole afternoon is more than I can handle, that's the reason I have an office that has a door so I can hide from them"

Sarah laughed, "So you not busy?" "Well that depends" Sarah frowned "Why does it depend?" JJ smirked "Well if someone wanted. I do not know. To do something and save me from having to spend a whole day listening to those two then I will become very busy for the whole afternoon and be ever so grateful to them" At this point JJ knew she was going to need to make a phone call.

"Can" Sarah sighed "Would" JJ pulled her closer "just breathe and relax" she whispered "Me you do something" Sarah finally managed to get out. JJ ran her fingers through Sarah's hair "What would you like to do?" Sarah shrugged "Could we maybe go for a drive and go somewhere we can talk? Please" JJ nodded "Course we can, but first your mother needs to stop hovering in the doorway and tell us how that phone call went" JJ mused, "How did you"

"Your mom isn't that cleaver in the morning" JJ smirked as she kept her arm around Sarah "You remember me saying I can feel you watching me?" Emily groaned, "I won't get away with it now will I" Emily mused, "How can you feel her watching you without seeing her?" Sarah asked

Emily laughed, "Sarah that is something no one can explain trust me" JJ mused slightly "I think the nerd in there is asleep" causing Sarah to laugh "JJ?" JJ laughed, "Yes sweetheart?" Sarah moved slightly causing JJ to back off a bit "Sarah?" she bit the inside of her lip "Can I not call you JJ anymore?" JJ laughed "Depends on what you want to call me instead" "Jennifer?" JJ looked at Emily "You Prentiss women" Emily smiled "That would be a yes Sarah"

"Right Emily, phone call, how did it go?" JJ asked her hand still resting on Sarah's lower back "Oh you know got to go and sign papers and should be ready to move the end of the month hopefully" JJ nodded "Right while you two work out what we are having to eat I need to go and make a phone call" JJ said softly as she started to get off the chair.

"Sarah is everything okay?" Emily asked as she watched her, "You promise I can trust her" Emily smiled "I thought you already trusted her" she gave a pointed look "So if I tell her my story she won't hurt me?" Emily moved over to her "Era she would never hurt you, I wouldn't ask her to move in with us if I thought that" Emily said softly "You don't mind?" Emily kissed her forehead "Do you know how proud I am of you" Sarah shrugged "Baby it has taken you two years to allow her to touch you, and yesterday you didn't want to leave her side, so why would I mind, she makes you feel safe and me happy" Sarah nodded

"Can we have pancakes?" Sarah said changing the subject "You can I think I just want fruit" "I'll make it then mom; you want a tea or you going to try a coffee?" Emily paled slightly "Ginger" Sarah laughed, "Okay and mom you look like you need to be sick or maybe sit down?" Emily smiled slightly "I think both"

JJ and Sarah made a start on cleaning up, since the morning sickness won over helping making both Sarah and JJ send her to the couch to relax. "Jennifer is mom happy about the baby?" JJ smiled "I think she may be slightly overwhelmed right now, but she will get there, I know her and Morgan talk but I think she may be missing Karen just like you are" she said softly "How can you tell that" JJ smiled "I know your mom Sarah and I love you both, and I know what it is like to miss someone who you have relied on and could talk to" Sarah looked at her for a moment "Who?" JJ smiled "Not here sweetheart okay" Sarah nodded.

"Right Sarah you go get ready and put something warmer on okay Morgan should be here soon" she said making her way into the front room "Hey baby you okay there" Emily sighed "I don't like morning sickness" JJ chuckled "It's not an attractive look" she smirked "Jen," JJ watched as her face became slightly blank, which caused JJ to worry slightly "Em what's wrong?" Emily gave a soft smile "No matter what happens today don't leave her please" Emily's eyes were sad and pained as JJ cupped her chin "I would never leave her alone and I would never leave her or you no matter what she says or what she does. Unless she is planning on taking super glue with us" Emily rolled her eyes as she laughed.

The knocking on the door pulled them from their thoughts "I'll get it you just sit okay" JJ said softly before making her way down the hall "Sarah I won't be a second and then we can go okay" JJ looked at her for a moment before opening the door "Don't tell me she has you running around after her" Morgan joked as he pulled her in to a slightly embrace.

"She is in the front room and be gentle morning sickness is making her slightly grumpy" she smiled reaching for her jacket "You not staying?" he mused "Nope me and Sarah are going to have a girly day and leave the two 'boys' to it" she joked "I heard that Jennifer" Morgan laughed "You just got first named you're in trouble" JJ laughed "Right Sarah if your ready sweetheart we can entrust this macho man to look after your mother"

Morgan moved slightly "You two behave" he teased making his way into the front room "Hey princess" Emily looked at him for a moment "You can sit down you know the chair doesn't bite" she half joked before becoming somewhat quiet.

"We can just sit in silence if you want till they get back" Morgan said softly but kindly to Emily, she had become nervous, she was fine at work and out in the field because she knew JJ was near and close, she hadn't been alone with her friend and partner for the past 2 months since coming home from hospital.

For the first time since joining the BAU she felt uncomfortable, she looked at him with unsure eyes, there was a kindness there that was covered in love and understanding, Morgan may not always be the most patient of people, but when it came to the team he was and more importantly when it came to Emily he had all the time in the world. Emily in his eyes was his sister he loved her and cared about her like family does.

He look into her sad and unsure eyes, looking down he saw the tell tail signs that Emily was stressed out and nervous, she had begun picking her fingernails, with slow movements he reached out his hand to still hers looking straight at her "Talk to me Emily" he asked softly but his eyes were pleading with her. "I…Morgan I" she stopped for a second "Never had you pegged for someone stuck for words princess" he teased softly, which earn him a small laugh.

"I'm sorry, didn't think I'd. It…this would be so" "Hard?" he finished her sentence for her "How about we start with something small" he frowned slightly "Well it's not that small in fact its huge" he smiled earning a confused frown of Emily "Details!" he smirked "You, JJ" he raised his eyebrows seeing a small smile start to edge on her lips "I don't kiss and tell and you know that" she mused at him.

"Okay are you happy?" he tried a different approach, he was a master at this, even though Emily had brains and wit and was also a nerd, he just had a way of drawing things out of her without her fully noticing sometimes, which was now as she started to ramble slightly "I am when Jennifer is around, when she isn't, my mind goes back there, I'm trapped I am scared of myself and people. I don't know I am ashamed of myself, I trust you Morgan but what if we are in the field can you trust me to have your back?" she looked sadly into his eyes, looking for any sign of pity or repulsion but found not there was an understanding there and love, the tears filled her eyes but remind unshed.

"First off I trust you, Emily I know full well if you didn't think you had my back or that you couldn't do your job, you wouldn't have come back, I can't imagine what you went through, because people never go through the same emotions or feelings, but I also know what it is like to feel ashamed and repulsed with yourself" he smiled kindly, Emily had been there for him when he got arrested and found out he had been abused, it was his time to repay her for that. She knew he understood on some level as she looked into his eyes.

"I feel ashamed because I let it happen, I let myself become vulnerable and a target, I don't understand how I never saw or had an idea what he was capable of, I have questioned myself every day and night, how did I not see it, we deal with this every day and I didn't see it what does that say about me?"

Morgan let out a slight laugh as he looked at her "Well princess nice to know we are all thinking the same thing" she frowned at him slightly as her eyes narrowed "We think it because hell Prentiss we played pool with the guy for months, and we never saw it" he looked down at his hands which still held Emily's

"We didn't see because we only went after a hard case or when we wanted to let off steam, and mainly because we weren't looking, none of us knew what he was capable of, but I am so glad we never told him our first names or the fact that we were, are FBI, because the outcome could have been so different" he admitted they knew if he knew she was FBI they may not have got her back alive.

"How is it you always know what to say" she smiled softly at him a real smile not fake not for show but the smile he knows "Because you are my friend, and also I do tend to listen when you talk to me, me nodding and agreeing isn't just for side effects" he joked which earned him a playful slap, "Emily I love you and see you as family, and I hope you know you have five people that would do anything for you, who have been waiting by the phone for them to be able to help you, and me personally I'm glad it is me here because you are my friend and you are my partner and I can help you through this if you let me"

The tears were rolling down her cheek, which she had not noticed, he brought his hand up to her cheek and wiped them away as she pulled him into a hug, which in return he pulled her closer wrapping his arms around her tight, the tears soon stopped but she stayed in his arms. They had settle down into a peaceful silence watching a film Emily was now sitting curled into Morgan's protective arm he head rested on his shoulder


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"So where are we going?" Sarah asked as they drove through the town "How about we go somewhere away from here so we don't have to worry about bumping into people we know so we can really talk" JJ said she had a feeling Sarah wanted to more than just talk to get to know her. "That sounds better, you have somewhere in mind?"

They had driven out of town and had been making small talk for the past two hours as JJ finally pulled the car up in the car park that looked over a lake "You have been here often?" Sarah asked as she took in the view and the peacefulness of the place "Whenever I need to think or need to escape" JJ replied turning off the engine "Also there is a nice café over the other side of the lake" she smiled as they both got out of the car.

They had walk slowly around the lake getting to the half-way point when Sarah became slightly uncomfortable, her voice was lower and JJ began to get concerned, she had told her about the places she had been where she grew up, but now the uneasy silence fell upon them both, Sarah seemed lost in thought, she worn the same look at Emily got when something was playing on her mind "Shall we sit there is a bench just ahead" JJ said, but all she got in reply was a slight nodded from her.

JJ finally broke the silence that had fallen around them "Sarah what's wrong?" she asked softly her voice showing concern, Sarah looked at her a sad expression covered her face and JJ couldn't help but feel for her "Whatever it is you can tell me if you want, or we can just go back home" she said kindly.

"No, it's just I want you to read something and" JJ looked at her slightly confused "Read what sweetie?" JJ was now becoming more and more worried the lack of expression that shadowed her face and the blankness in her eyes, she didn't want to push, it really wasn't her place, but it was also the same look Emily had when she woke screaming for Sarah to run or she had been woken to find the bed empty and Sarah wrapped in her mother's arms at night.

"Sarah" she asked quietly, Sarah looked at her, her voice more than a whisper "can you just" she looked at her for a moment before looking back at the floor. "Sarah whatever it is I can promise you I won't leave and I won't judge you in anyway" JJ's eyes softened as Sarah moved closer to her.

"I have a diary well and Mom trusts you and I am starting to as well" Sarah muttered "And you're not sure you can?" JJ asked softly "I want to but I don't want you to go, mom happy when your around" Sarah pulled out the small diary from her jacket placing it front of JJ "Sweetie" JJ whispered "I need you I want you to know," JJ gave a soft smile "And you want me to read it now" she asked carefully as Sarah nodded moving closer.

Bracing herself she leaned into JJ slightly as though she was trying to hide herself. JJ wrapped her arm around her playing with her hair as she began to read, she could feel Sarah shaking against her as she held her closer, JJ whispered softly "Shh, it's okay Sarah" holding her a little tighter as she could only think of the pain she had endured

JJ wrapped her arms around Sarah tightly as she soothed her the best she could "Sarah listen to me please" Sarah nodded against her "I am not going anywhere, this, what you have told me doesn't change anything other than it helps me understand things more and Sarah I don't hate you and I know you are not dirty and you are not filth. You have so much to give" Sarah tried to calm herself as the tears fell.

"How can you be so" JJ smiled "What understanding?" Sarah nodded "You don't treat mom and you have never" Sarah sighed "Why would I treat either of you different? I have a past which I have dealt with and I have the scars to prove it, but also it's my secret everyone has them Sarah and you are so strong and I can see why your mom is so proud of you and I am proud of you as well" JJ smiled as Sarah pulled away slightly. Sarah looked at her as she whispered "Scars?"

JJ chuckled "Yeah I have a few, but that doesn't matter okay," she smiled softly at her as she wiped her eyes "Tell you what lets go and get something to eat, I think we both need a break from these" she waved her hand above her head which earn her a laugh from Sarah.

They finally made it over to the other side of the lake the tension had left them and Sarah was more relaxed and open with her as they sat eating the burgers they had ordered "Jennifer does, well what I told you, I mean" JJ shh'd her "Doesn't change anything, and like I said I'm not going anywhere" she assured her.

JJ's heart was breaking she couldn't find the words her professional mask was fully in place because all she wanted to do was curl up in bed and cry for Sarah for Emily for Jessica.

The thought of Emily trying to end her own life was tearing her up inside as well as a scared child wanting to die, JJ's hand rested on Sarah's knee as they made their way back "Are you mad at me Jennifer?" Sarah said breaking the silence that had covered them for the past hour "No sweetheart I am not mad at you I promise"

Sarah frowned slightly "I've upset you" JJ shook her head "No sweetie, you haven't upset me I promise" Sarah looked out the window "I made you think of your past didn't I" she mumbled, "I always think of my past Sarah" JJ mused as she carried on driving.

"When I was younger I had a big sister Sarah, I lost her that's all" Sarah nodded "You like me have a story?" Sarah seemed to be backing off and retreating into herself "Sarah we all have stories, and we all have a past, some are worse than others but your own past is never better than another's, do you understand that?"

Sarah turned to look at her seeing the silent tears falling down JJ's cheek as she drove. "My past is worse because it happened to me. And moms is worse cause it happened to her but worse things have happened but your also not saying they are worse than mine" Sarah said softly "No darling I am not, I have seen a lot of things and sweetheart I promise you that like your mom that is for you to tell. Just like your mom's is for her to tell" she smiled softly.

"And yours?" Sarah questioned, "I don't need to tell mine Sarah," she said in a whispered breath "Mom knows?" JJ nodded not trusting her voice "Sorry" JJ squeezed her leg slightly "No need for sorry Sarah, I am glad you feel you can trust me though Sarah and I hope you now understand that I would never hurt you" JJ said softly as they stopped the car. "Yeah mom was right" she smiled

"You want me to get mom?" JJ shook her head as she opened the door "You go in sweetie I just need to" she looked upstairs as Sarah nodded.

"Mother" Sarah said looking at her and Morgan "mom" her voice slightly louder "mommy" which caused Emily to stir somewhat "mmm" "Mater" Emily's eyes snapped opens the movement causing Morgan to wake "Sarah, what's wrong?" Emily said sitting up fully.

Emily watched her for a moment "sweetheart where is Jennifer?" she asked watching her daughters face carefully "Upstairs" she said sadly, Emily sighed "Morgan sorry would you mind?" he nodded "See you at work princess" he smiled at Sarah "See you later kiddo" which got him a nod.

Emily looked at Sarah again as she patted her lap "What's happened" she asked once she heard the door close "I upset her" Emily shook her head "I doubt it darling" Sarah looked sadly at her "Mom she was crying and she gone upstairs and and" Emily placed her fingers on her lips to still her "How about we make a coffee and then I will go and check on her" Sarah nodded "Mom? Did her sister die?" Emily's eyes went slightly wide "She did baby but not" she stopped herself "Sweetheart I need to go and check on her will you be okay". Sarah nodded "Tell her I'm sorry mom" Emily kissed her cheek "Not your fault,"

JJ walked upstairs closing the door behind her and she slid down the bathroom wall curling into herself as she finally let the tears that she had building up inside fully out.

Emily walked slowly upstairs knocking softly on her bathroom door where she could hear the soft sobs coming from "Jen, can I come in baby" keeping her voice soft, she knew what was in Sarah's diary her heart sunk knowing that she must have read about her and Sarah wanting to die. "em" JJ let out in a half sob.

Opening the bathroom door looking into tear full eyes which were now puffy and red her heart broke more "Why didn't you tell me" JJ asked looking at her "Which part Jen" she sighed "You tried to kill yourself Emily why, why would you do that when" she closed her eyes as Emily sat next to her pulling her close.

"I couldn't cope Jennifer, my little girl wanted to die I was losing her I lost her once and the thought of losing her again, Jen it killed me. I knew Karen and mom would look after her, I knew what she had gone through because I saw it Jennifer. I saw what those people did to my baby girl. They destroyed her, they took her innocence away and I couldn't make it any better for her and she still struggles now, and I know you know that but" Emily sighed "Is it too much for you?"

JJ shook her head "The CIA Em?" JJ had so many questions her mind was spinning and wanting answers but her heart was also breaking Emily sighed "Yes I worked for them yes I also have a very bad past because of my work and I will tell you everything just not while Sarah is around" JJ shook her head "I just need to know why you didn't tell me?" Emily pulled her close "I am not allowed to tell anyone about my old job and life baby" JJ nodded "Okay" Emily gave a soft smile "You want a few moments alone or you coming down with me Sarah has made you a coffee" JJ wiped her eyes and looked at Emily "I'll be down in a few need to wash my face but let me help you up" JJ gave a smile that didn't fully reach her eyes "Thanks" Emily said softly as she placed a soft kiss to her lips.

Emily made her way downstairs smiling at Sarah "Is she okay mom?" Emily sighed slightly "She will be baby and it is nothing you have done I promise" Sarah nodded "Is she going to leave you?" a slight laugh left Emily's lips "No she isn't Sarah, and if you want ask her when she comes down" Sarah nodded not fully believing her mom.

"Hey you two" JJ said softly as she watched them both, Emily gave a warm smile as Sarah just looked sadly down at the table "Coffee here Jen" Emily said but right now JJ was fixated on Sarah and her body language or lack of it for a better word, JJ walked to stand beside her as her fingers gently ran through her hair "Shh sweetheart" JJ whispered as Sarah finally looked at her.

"I'm sorry" Sarah's eyes broke JJ's heart as she pulled her into a gentle hug "I promise you that you have no reason to say sorry," she placed a soft kiss on her forehead as she moved some of her hair behind her ear "And sweetheart I told you before nothing is going to change and I am not going to leave your mom or you, so why are you think I am" Sarah just stared at her "How do you do that" she asked

"You and your mother are too alike that's how sweetie" JJ said with a wink, just as the doorbell went "Emily grinned as JJ smirked "Sarah you might want to get that" Sarah frowned her mom never asked her to get the door and she would never willingly get the door anyone could be behind it "Mom" the doorbell rang again only this time followed by a very familiar knock which in turn had Sarah running to the door.

"Karen!" she smiled throwing her arms around her "I've missed you" Karen laughed "Missed you too kiddo but could you let me in before you fully attack me" Karen wrapped her arm around Sarah as they made their way back into the kitchen. "Emmy" Karen said softly, they had spoken on the phone Emily had not told her everything but she knew her mother had as Karen let go of Sarah wrapping her arms tightly around Emily.

They stayed like that for a while as Sarah asked if she could sit with JJ who nodded and when Sarah said sit with JJ did not realize she meant sit on her lap. Sarah leaned into JJ more which made JJ tighten her hold "you okay sweetie" JJ whispered "I am now I know you're not mad at me" JJ chuckled softly "shall I let you in on a secret" Sarah nodded as JJ kept her voice low "The only time I lose my temper is if someone I love gets hurt or if your mom winds me up slightly" Sarah laughed causing both Karen and Emily to turn around.

Karen's smiled widely she had not seen Sarah curled up with anyone other than Emily and her mom as she looked at JJ "Welcome to the family finally" JJ smiled "Good to have you back these two have missed you like mad" Emily smiled "I think that one over there has missed you more than me"

"So you coming to grandma's with me kiddo?" Karen asked as JJ handed out more coffee and Emily a ginger ale "Mom?" Emily rolled her eyes slightly "Up to you Sarah" she mused slightly "You haven't told her have you?" Karen said looking at Emily "No not yet I was waiting till you got back"

Sarah frowned at them both as she watched JJ rubbing her mom's back "What's going on?" Emily smiled "How would you like to live with Karen?" Emily asked, "You don't want me mom?" Karen laughed slightly "Kiddo that isn't what your mom said and you know it" she gave a pointed look.

"Then what do you mean" JJ couldn't help but laugh "Jennifer?" she shook her head "Will one of you just tell the poor kid before she gets herself worked up and stop being cruel" that caused Emily to laugh "Okay, so how would you like to live with Karen?" Emily asked again "She no home anymore you told me the apartment is gone" Emily nodded "It is but she does have a home, I made sure she has three room in it as well"

"Where?" JJ rolled her eyes as she swatted Emily's shoulder "Tell her and stop being mean the pair of you" "You know when we went looking at new houses and I made sure they had an annexe" Sarah nodded as her eyes got slightly wide "You coming to live with us?" Karen nodded "That's the plan kiddo" "What about your job?" Karen laughed, "I got a better offer" JJ wrapped her arms tightly around Emily pulling her close "Love you Emily" JJ whispered, "I love you too"

"Who offered you a better job?" Sarah asked as JJ hid her face in the nook of Emily's neck "Jennifer offered, she didn't want to have to trust someone else with you or the little one inside your mom" Sarah glared at her slightly "You asked, and" JJ nodded "I told you I know how much you miss her and since me and your mom know you are not going to be able to settle at another school it works out a lot better" Sarah grinned "Home school?" JJ nodded "Yep that's unless you want to go back and do more damage to the history teacher"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Emily smiled as she walked towards the sofa to greet her properly her and Morgan had, had a lovely time, as she looked at JJ though her face displayed hurt and anger "Jennifer? Is everything okay?" she asked carefully as JJ narrowed her eyes slightly

"I guess we need to talk about a few things" JJ said her voce was an eerily calm as she looked the brunette up and down. Sarah had gone with Karen and the angry inside her that was not there before came shooting out like a knife. She was pissed at Emily she was hurting for Sarah and she also knew Emily was on the edge she did not need to read that she knew and the fact that Emily had tried to kill herself scared her. She was scared that if she did not let her in she would lose her and Sarah would lose her and she knew Sarah would not cope.

Her voice rose slightly "CIA! Emily, you worked for the CIA, why the hell didn't we know and more importantly why the fucking hell didn't you tell me!" She said as she started to pace "Jennifer, I couldn't, I can't," JJ glared dangerously at her "I don't know you Emily, not fully, I have let you in. I have told you things that no one knows for god's sake, and I had to hear it from Sarah," she scolded.

Emily resigned herself to fate to the fact that she shouldn't have never got involved, everything was starting to fall around her, how could she tell her she was a spy and that she had done things that haunted her, seen things that made her skin crawl. She looked into sad and angry eyes, picking at her nails.

"You do know me Jennifer, just... I am not allowed to divulge anything regarding it, I was sworn to secrecy," she said softly as her eyes filled with tears. "It's not like I wanted to keep it from you, it's not like I had a choice," Emily said as she looked at the floor. "I didn't mean to hurt you," she said as she let out a shuddered breath.

"You should have trusted me enough to tell me Emily. You should have believed that I would not have told anyone or said anything, hell Em. I could have helped you more when you screamed; I could have done anything or something instead of the panic of not being able to help you." JJ said as she walked up to her kneeling in front of her stilling her hands. Emily looked at her for a moment. "Have I lost you?" she asked as the tears and fears engulfed her mind.

JJ smiled weakly at her "No, you haven't but you will if you can't be honest with me, if you can't let me in. I trust you, but do you trust me enough to let me in to allow me to see you, to allow me to help you?" JJ paused as she tried to control her emotions. "Emily she told me you tried to kill yourself, do you know what that did to me? I had to keep my fears and feelings away from her I could not let her see, she did not mean any harm, part of me knows this, but it hurt and it still does. I grew up on the belief there was some good in this world and pain and heartache could and can be healed when you love someone, not to have it ripped away by someone who is meant to love me. Who says I am her everything and I have her heart" she lifted her chin making Emily look at her "how can I have your heart, if you hide away from me?" she paused to get her breath and see what Emily would say.

"I am so sorry Jennifer; last thing I wanted was to hurt you. I was not ready I was not and right now I am not strong enough to be ready. If I let you in my fears will become real, my nightmares will come true. I am not proud of what I did in the CIA, but it was a job, one that cost me so much and I guess it still costing Me.," she said softly as the sobs ripped from her throat. This was not what she wanted this was not how she wanted JJ to find out, and more importantly, she never wanted to her the blonde who stole her heart who invaded her dreams, the one person who kept the monsters at bay.

JJ looked at her studying her, hoping to see truth in what she was saying, she saw something, beside the fear and the pain, she saw blankness, the type you get when you are on the brink of drowning and you are holding on for dear life, you are clinging from a thread. "I love you and that hasn't changed Em and I also know it won't. However, I need something from you. I need you to answer me and I want you to be honest with me, you do not have to tell me about the CIA, but it would have been nice to know you worked for them. I need to know what you're feeling, what your fears are so I can help you" JJ said firmly, even though she was hurt she knew that this was her place, this was where she was meant to be.

"I can't talk about the CIA, but I can be honest with you, I can learn not to hide away from you from my feelings and thoughts, but I worry they will scare you, and I'll lose you" Emily said honestly. "Emily what part of me telling you I am not going anywhere don't you understand?" "That you will see my demons and be repulsed by them. I have a dark place and it haunts me. I let my daughter get taken, I made her suffer, and I did that!" JJ shook her head "You didn't let her and you sure as hell haven't made her suffer. Those people did that. Do you really think that she would be here if you had made her suffer? And do you really think she would allow you to see her diary and me if she thought that!"

Emily looked at her JJ as more tears fell "I'm scared", she said weakly "Everyone wants me to be strong, but I'm not I'm... I guess... I am not sure I can do this, get past this get through it. The CIA was hell for me it ripped my heart out it nearly destroyed me Jennifer." JJ smiled softy as she wrapped her arms around Emily as she cried she whispered softly to her. "We have to stop dancing around what has happened to you, we need to talk about it, and I am not just talking about the CIA. I am talking about Rob Emily, you cannot run from it, you can try, you can look at yourself and feel ashamed or embarrassed, but you cannot hide from it. It will consume you if you do, and I cannot stand by and watch it rip you apart" she paused for a moment feeling Emily nod against her

"If you can't talk to me write your feelings and fears down, you could see someone else since I know you haven't been going to your appointments. You need to do that Emily and you need to talk to them, if you want, if you feel you can be honest with them" she kissed her temple softly. "You don't have to tell me everything but if you're having a bad day or if the thoughts get too much for you, you have to tell me okay. How can I be there for you if you hide from me and don't talk to me?" she said as she moved the hair away from her face feeling her calm slightly

"I promise I will try, but I have kept everything hidden for so long I don't know how to, I built these walls to protect myself and them I care about, what if I pull them down and I lose myself?" "You trust me to catch you, you trust me not to let you fall. I told you before you are stronger than you think than you feel" she kissed Emily softly. "I have fears, I have nightmares, watching you get beaten watching him invade you like that Emily it killed me because I couldn't save you from that pain" she paused for a moment.

"I catch myself crying some days, when I am in my office. I will look at a file or see a picture and sometimes all I see is you, and that tears at my heart. We have built a bubble around us that is so damn tight. That even I am surprised we can breathe, that we can function. And even Sarah has noticed," She smiled softly "I will make you a deal okay? I will open up and tell you my feelings and fears and I will tell you if things get too much in my mind, if I am having a bad day. As long as you do the same, if it is easier for you to write it down than saying it then do that but no more running and no more hiding. You can hide away your feelings at work and from Sarah but here in our home when we are alone you don't." Emily nodded "Okay, I promise and Jennifer I am so sorry, can you forgive me?"

JJ laughed slightly "I already have forgiven you baby I already have" JJ said hoping she had gotten the message across praying that she had gotten through to her. "How about we order a takeout and just watch a film tonight? I think we both can use the break as long as you do one thing, just let me hold you? You are safe with me Em; I will never let anyone hurt you or Sarah again." Emily nodded "I can do all of them, but can I have a spicy pizza?" Emily smiled slightly as JJ rolled her eyes. "Spicy really Em, the last one stunk the house out for three days." She laughed pulling the brunette out of the chair holding her closer to her as she nuzzled her face into the crook of her neck. "Don't ever hide from me again." "I won't" Emily promised, silently as she thanked whatever god had brought this woman into their life in to her heart and soul.

**One Week Later**

Emily sat in the kitchen as she handed a brown envelope over to her. JJ opened it frowning slightly as she saw her name. "What is this?" she asked as she fully looked at the paper. "Mother set this up for you" Emily shook her head slightly. "No it's, I can't" JJ stumbled as she looked at the trust fund Elizabeth had set up for her. "Why?" she finally asked, "Jennifer, your family to us well you're more to me I hope" she smiled softly. "And everyone who enters our family gets one" Emily stilled her hands over JJ's as she looked into shocked blue eyes. "Jennifer I love you and I don't want to lose you" Emily moved from her chair standing straight in front of her holding her gaze. "And I also believe you didn't read the top part correctly" Emily smirked

JJ eyes went wide as she took in properly what the heading said, Emily took the paper off her keeping her gaze on her as she did "Jennifer Jareau" would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?" Emily asked as she pulled out a purple case.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Yep praying this chapter works!**

Emily stood in front of JJ; her mouth was slightly ajar in shock, "Jennifer?" Emily said softly the worry starting to show in her eyes as she went to move away from the very quiet JJ, she started to move the box away, which held a small sliver ring with three diamonds inserted and was very practical for work so it would not snag on anything.

JJ sat there in shock as the words spun in her head **'marry, as in marry'** JJ though to herself as she looked at Emily noticing that she was backing away slightly with a sombre expression on her face,

'**Damn it too soon, too much'** Emily mentally berated herself, JJ watched her for a moment her hands trembled as it finally dawned on her she hadn't spoken, a small smile showed on her face as she jumped off the stool into Emily's arms, still unable to form words she mumbled into her neck as the tears started to run down her cheek wetting Emily's shoulder "Shh, I'm sorry" Emily said softly as her eyes filled with tears, this was too soon, too much.

JJ shook her head slightly sensing Emily was taking her the wrong way as she pulled away looking deeply in to her eyes, looking for any sense of betrayal or hesitance on Emily's part but she found none aside from worry and hurt, but most importantly she saw love cupping her cheek as she sobbed slightly "Y..Y...es" she stuttered out as she pulled Emily into a gentle kiss.

Pulling away slightly she looked into deep chocolate eyes holding her gaze as Emily's eyes studied her face "that's a yes?" Emily asked unsure that she had heard her correctly, JJ nodded as she pulled Emily into her arms "That's a big yes" she said in a slight giggle "You sure know how to shock a girl Ms Prentiss" JJ said once she finally was able to form words. Emily took her hand in her own as she pulled the ring out of the box "May I?" she asked softly as the smile radiated her face for the first time in months the smile reached her eyes.

"You may" JJ smirked "About that house" she asked shyly as Emily put the ring on her finger, Emily bit her lip slightly "Can I ring and confirm please?" she ask looking into bright blue eyes that were filled with unshed tears, JJ nodded before she spoke "Little early though" she mused as she looked at the clock which now said 8am "She will be up and also she will not mind since she will get a lovely bonus" Emily laughed pulling JJ close to her running her fingers through her hair.

"I love you Jennifer" she whispered softly against her forehead placing a soft kiss, JJ tilted her head so she could look at her as she smiled softly, it was the most beautiful thing JJ had seen in a long time "I love you too" she said cupping Emily's chin guiding her head down for a loving kiss before pulling away "I guess I have to let my mom know now" JJ joked as Emily rolled her eyes "You haven't told her?" Emily frowned slightly "It has never come up" she joked back, "Really, oh, then yes you need to tell her but only when you are ready" Emily said in a soft and serious voice.

JJ finally sat back down as Emily's stomach made itself known to them both "Are you hungry by any chance" she joked as Emily's stomach growled again "I woke up hungry" Emily said as she half laughed "But I got distracted by this beautiful lady" JJ flushed slightly as she rolled her eyes "You really have been spending too much time with Morgan" JJ smirked "Sarah stop hovering on the stairs and come down" Emily said smirking "She knew?" JJ whispered as a very hyperactive Sarah ran down the stairs throwing her arms around JJ

"Morning sweetie been there long?" JJ teased as she pulled Sarah onto her knee "If I say yes will I get shouted at?" JJ and Emily laughed "No," JJ pulled her close "You're okay with this?" JJ asked as Sarah nodded "More than okay" she grinned "But someone said breakfast"

"What do you fancy and no eggs" she said sternly "Oh well maybe bacon sausage and tomatoes" Emily said "You're really hungry aren't you babe" JJ said as Sarah moved allowing JJ to get up "Yes hungry isn't the word I would use but mmm" Sarah laughed "Jennifer can I have the same as mom please?" JJ nodded as she pulled the food out of the fridge and lighting the stove

Emily's eyes raked over the blondes body "Emily stop it" JJ said softly as she turned to look at the brunette "What I didn't do anything" she smiled sweetly "I can feel you watching me and there are children present" she smirked back, as she stood at the stove watching the food she looked at her hand studying the ring it was perfect as it suddenly dawned on her, she need to get Emily a ring.

"Em, would you mind if I rung Pen and asked if she wants to go shopping with me today and maybe you and Sarah and Karen can have some time together?" JJ said as she plated the food up, handing Emily 2 slices of buttered bread, "Sure sounds like a good idea sweetie" she replied as they began to eat.

"Do you think they will try and split the team up, I mean Strauss is well so against these things" this caused Emily to laugh loudly "Not if she wants to keep her job it won't be an issue" JJ went to say something as Emily shook her head "Something's you are better off not knowing" she smiled looking at the woman who had stolen her heart.

"Jennifer?" Sarah said softly as she watched her and her mother "Yes sweetheart" Sarah looked at her unsure "Can I come with you and Garcia? Please" JJ smiled "Only if you're sure and you're sure you will be okay with Garcia you know how loud she can be and how she can get carried away" JJ warned slightly. "I would like to get to know her and I am sure" Emily smiled as JJ nodded "I'll make a phone call and see if she is not busy, you going to ring Karen?" JJ said as she traced patterns on Emily's stomach "Yes and Jen" she gave a pointed look "Oh, sorry" she bit her lip slightly as Sarah burst out laughing "On that note mom I am going to get changed"

Location: Shopping trip

"Really!" Garcia squealed "Yes really, she asked I said yes, but I need to find a ring for Emily and I have no clue where to go or what to get her" Sarah stepped behind JJ as Garcia wrapped her arms tightly around JJ, JJ gripped Sarah's hand returning the hug with one arm. "You okay sweetie" JJ said softly when Garcia had let go of her "Yeah" she whispered back making Garcia whisper 'sorry' knowing she might have just in fact scared Sarah.

JJ said as she showed her the ring "Wow, that is just beautiful" Garcia said holding her hand inspecting it fully as the sunlight glisten against it. JJ for her part hadn't looked at the band really as Garcia read the inscription the was written on the back "who would have thought Emily was a romantic" she said as JJ finally saw what was written **'my heart'** it blended in so much you could only just see when you really looked at it.

JJ blushed slightly "Pen it is like she will do anything for me and part of me worries that I may not be good enough for her" JJ admitted, she was still shocked that Emily wanted her and only her, their backgrounds and up bringing's were so different. As she wrapped her arm around Sarah knowing, that Sarah would not say anything to her mom.

Garcia laughed "JJ she has been hooked on you from the first day she saw you" she smiled as they walked into the jewellery shop; she really had no idea what type or what to get. The gentlemen in the store showed her many rings but none seemed to say Emily to her and she wanted it perfect and special.

However, it also had to be practical for work last thing she wanted was for Emily to take down an unsub and it to get caught she looked at Garcia who was grinning that much.

JJ thought her lips would split "Do you think I could get one designed for her?" JJ said softly "JJ anything you get she will love, but if that is the way you want to go then do it but it will be expensive" she warned JJ laughed softly "She's worth it Pen, I feel we wasted so much time and it took her being taken for me to fully see how much I want and need her and how much I love her, if I just told her sooner" she rambled sadly. "Mom will love anything you give her Jennifer," Sarah whispered softly as JJ still kept her arm protectively around her "You sure about that sweetie" Sarah nodded "She loves you" Sarah smirked as Garcia laughed "Smart kid" Sarah smiled at Garcia

"JJ you can't blame yourself you can only move past it and forward I know I haven't been much of a friend to you lately, I was worried if I said something it would hurt, and I also didn't and don't know what to say, but I just hoped you knew I was always here for you even if it was just a shoulder to cry on, your my best friend JJ and I am so sorry" she said softly as they left the shop. JJ nodded "Not now Pen please" she said softly. Garcia had been so caught up in her thoughts she had forgotten Sarah was tightly wrapped in JJ's arms

They headed back to the jewellers and asked him if it was possible for him to make a ring for her, he nodded his response before explaining it may take a few weeks for it to be made and half would have to be paid up front, JJ grinned as she drew a rough sketched of what she wanted, it was a simple design she had, a silver band shaped in a v pattern with five diamonds embed inside, she explain that they need to be so they wouldn't catch on anything so she could wear it every day and asked for an inscription to go inside the band she smiled as she paid the man before they both headed out the store. "That is beautiful mom will love it" Sarah's eyes lit up as Garcia agreed.

"That was like your month's salary JJ are you sure about this?" Garcia asked JJ laughed "I am more than sure, she is worth it" they walked for a few moments as JJ stomach growled "Fancy some lunch my treat" Garcia smirked "Mmm food sounds very good to me right now" JJ said as they found a small café set aside from the main shopping mall, they ordered their food and waited for it to come with the coffees that they had ordered.

"So you are looking forward to becoming an auntie?" JJ mused "Oh yes I get to spoil the little one" she grinned as JJ smiled widely before she spoke looking her in the eyes "We went for a scan the other day you know before we went to the viewing" she said softly "Really why didn't you say anything?" Garcia frowned she hated being in the dark about things.

"Well we had a lot to get our heads around and for it to really sink in I guess, we were in shock if I am honest" she mused as she looked at her Garcia now had a very confused look on her face that also masked concern "Is everything okay, I mean is there something wrong? With the baby or Emily?" she rambled

"The baby is fine" JJ replied causing Sarah to laugh slightly "hush you" JJ gave her a slightly pointed look causing Sarah to settle down. They had sat in a small booth away from every one Sarah was sat in the corner next to JJ with Garcia on the other side.

"Garcia," Sarah said softly "Yes princess" she smirked "Would you...I mean can you, but only if you want to, you don't have to" JJ closed her eyes as she spoke "Sarah just breath okay I think your confusing Garcia" JJ said as she pulled her closer. Sarah nodded as Garcia watched her taking a deep breath and slowing her words down "Can you teach me about computers? Please" Garcia eyes went wide as JJ spoke "Quiet voice please before you even think of answering" JJ warned slightly. Garcia smiled as she tried to contain her emotions "I would love to" she beamed as Sarah laughed "That was hard for you wasn't it" she mused causing JJ to laugh, "That is the calmest I've seen her when I know she wants to jump up and down like a kid"

"So where are we going next?" she asked as they finished their lunch "Well I was thinking we could go and look at some furniture for the house, since we want to get new things, and Sarah needs to sort out what she would like for her bedroom"

They had spent the last hour going around looking at furniture before heading out of the department and walking around to find a shop for baby furniture and some clothing JJ couldn't help but smile and get excited, Garcia for her part was giddy it was like watching a child in a sweet store.

JJ found the perfect cot, it was a three in one it would last as they grew to they were at least four it could be changed into to a small single bed when they grew, they argued slightly between themselves "I can't let you do that Pen really have you seen the price of it and we need to you just"

Garcia cut her off "Look JJ I want to. I earn more money than you and think of it as a gift I want to do something for you both and for my future niece or nephew please" she practical begged her, fluttering her eye lashes at her with a puppy dog expression.

JJ couldn't help but cave in "You know Emily will kick your ass don't you" JJ mused "No because she knows I can do a** 'thing'** and her credit rating will be" JJ held her hand up "No doing a **'thing'** Garcia" Sarah had become quite for the most part "You okay sweetie" JJ asked as Sarah shook her head "Right let's get home I think Karen will still be there" she smiled softly as her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**April**

The tears were rolling down her cheek, which she hadn't noticed, he brought his hand up to her cheek and wiped them away as she pulled him into a hug which in return he pulled her closer wrapping his arms around her tight, the tears soon stopped but she stayed in his arms as she spoke "So to change the subject" she mused to get the topic moving and off the painful past for a while, sometimes it was a little too intense the emotions she felt regarding her torcher.

"I've asked JJ to marry me" she blushed as Morgan gasped and slapped her shoulder "You little vixen, you kept that quite, why didn't you tell me" he grinned before he frowned "She did say yes, didn't she?" Emily laughed, "Yes she said yes" he kissed her head softly "I am so happy for you, but I must say, you really should have told her sooner I was ready to bang your heads together," he teased as they settled into comfortable silence.

She stayed in his arms her head resting on his shoulder, like many times they had done this when they were alone and Emily was opening up to him about things that were playing on her mind, or they were watching a film, and no one out of them knew this side to their relationship he was her partner and her brother, but Morgan like his macho image and she wouldn't brake that for anything, this in their eyes was something just between them.

They had settle down into a peaceful silence watching a film Emily was now sitting curled into Morgan's protective arm he head rested on his shoulder, they were so interested on the film that they never heard the door open or close as the two walked behind them JJ and Garcia giggled slightly causing them both too jump apart and also to look very guilty

"You two looked so comfy don't let us stop you" JJ said laughing "They really make a cute couple don't they" Garcia tease the now blushing brunette "Now baby girl just" he was cut off "Oh, your macho status just disappeared" JJ teased he held his hands up to speak as the two of them teased them "Who knew Derek Morgan was a big softie" JJ smirked as Emily's eyes went wide as she spotted the bags they had hold of "Where is Sarah?" Emily asked softly "In her room she just needed sometime to herself a little overwhelmed that's all" JJ reassured her. Emily's eyes went wide as she spotted the bags they had hold of.

"Jennifer please tell me those bags aren't all yours" she said slightly warily "Well no some are Garcia's" she mused as Garcia spoke "But they are also for you, I couldn't help myself, I am going to be an auntie" she gushed out, Emily rolled her eyes slightly but she couldn't help share in her excitement "So you going to show us?"

"So promise you won't shout at me," Garcia said looking at Morgan and Emily "What did you do?" Morgan asked "And is my bank in the red?" Garcia smiled "Not quite in the red, but anyway, we discussed this Derek and you said" he cut her off before she rambled too much "Just tell us, please so I can pass out" he mused slightly.

"Well we had planned to buy you the cot for the little bambino" Emily frowned slightly "Let me get this straight, you bought the cot for us, as in we didn't?" Emily doubled checked as she eyed her partner up "Yes, we wanted to do something nice for you both" he said, Emily chuckled slightly "So my macho partner goes to mush when babies are involved" she grinned "Your like my sister in my defence" he said as she wrapped her arms around him kissing his cheek "You didn't need to but thank you, both of you so much" she said looking at her two friends.

**Two Weeks Later…6.05am**

JJ turned over in her sleep to cuddle into the brunette but yet again the sheets were cold, she groaned slightly, today was they day they were going to start their life together in their own home, slowly she opened her eyes looking at the bright clock she sighed softly to herself, the past two days had been not so much different but hard.

JJ had been woken most nights by the sound or Emily sobbing in her sleep, she was quite a somewhat distant but she had kept to her word and been honest with her so far. Telling JJ, she was trying to work things out in her mind but she was not hiding.

Though she had said, she would like to find someone she could talk to once they had moved and got settled in, and also said she did not know if she would be able to talk to her, but she was trying to do as she had asked.

Many times, over the two days, she had found Emily sitting at a table with the pad and pen in her hand staring blankly at the paper, JJ was unsure if anything had finally been written down, but even though she smiled Emily was trying and that is all that JJ wanted her to do.

Throwing the covers off JJ began to get up and started to carry out her morning routine before going to locate Emily, she opened the door to head downstairs as her sense were attack by the smell of coffee, bacon and eggs, her stomach growled, just as Emily began to walk up the stairs she looked at her "Good morning" Emily had a smile on her face a real smile the one JJ had fallen in love with, it had been so long since Emily had looked at her like she was right now.

JJ returned the smile "Morning babe, what's this?" Emily turn as they both walked back down the stairs "Well I was making the woman of my dreams breakfast in bed but she wasn't there" Emily teased slightly "Hadn't you best go and look for her then?" JJ teased back.

Placing the tray of food down Emily turned to take JJ in her arms. "You are so beautiful Jennifer have I told you that lately?" Emily said taking her into her arms; JJ leaned into her looking into her eyes as she tucked the strayed strand of hair behind her ear.

Emily leaned into the touch the smile never altering "You're not so bad yourself Prentiss, are you going to tell me what has come over you this morning and how long have you been awake for" JJ asked, Emily nodded "Been up most of the night couldn't sleep, Jennifer we move today, this is the last time we will wake in this house, I guess you could say I am happy truly happy" she looked at her with a slight worry betraying in her eyes.

JJ leaned forward pulling her in for a loving kiss running her tongue along her bottom lip to ask for access which Emily gave easily, she pulled away slightly smiling at her. "I can't wait baby, but you could have woke me I would have got up with you" Emily shook her head as she moved pulling the chair for her to sit, taking the seat herself, she spoke softly and somewhat shyly "I needed to think" she frowned "Not think but I needed to" she bit her lower lip trying to find an easier way of saying it "I wrote and well it's not and you can read it but I.. Its but" JJ looked at her shh'ing her "Em, no rush and thank you" she smiled.

"So what time are they getting here and just so you are warned I meant what I said, I catch you carrying anything other than holding the door open you will be spending the night on the couch" she stared at her for a moment "Are we clear!" JJ said firmly.

Emily rolled her eyes in slight frustration but she knew JJ was right as she nodded "Promise my back is already starting to get sore" she stood up to move the plates as she turned around JJ stopped her in her track "Emily" she whispered out looking at the small bump that had appeared, Emily smirked.

JJ rushed running her fingers over her small bump "When did this appear" she said in wilderment "Not sure maybe a couple of days" Emily admitted, she had been waiting for the blonde to notice, "I wanted you to" she trailed off as the cheesiest grin appeared across her face.

"Babies, your babies" Emily cut her off in a dangerous voice "My babies? My babies? You might want to rethink that Jennifer they are OUR babies, I thought you knew this" JJ looked at her before cupping her cheek they worry she saw in her eyes broke her heart someday but right now reassurance was to be given.

"Em, I am sorry, didn't know how or if, their ours!" she smiled softly "their ours" she whispered again as the words finally sunk into her mind "we going to be mom's, I guess I knew that I just haven't said it out loud before Emily I'm sorry" she said softly as she rubbed the small bump, Emily smiled softly "It's okay and sorry I didn't mean to well you know" JJ nodded

"So what time the guys getting here for? And has Morgan picked the van up?" Emily smiled "Well it is a good job your dressed Garcia left me a message last night that they were going to get here for 7.30 and yes Morgan has got the van" JJ's eyes went slightly wide "This is really happening, we are buying, this is" Emily laughed "Yes we are going to own a home, I was waiting for this to happen, it's called buyers-remorse"

JJ spent the next hour moving the boxes they had with Emily's books in and placing them near the door, they had Emily's to move and JJ's apartment so it was going to be a very long day, for them both, but it was going to be worth it Garcia had already arranged everyone to meet for half seven, which had made both Emily, JJ, Karen and Sarah laugh, they never seen her so bossy but it took some pressure off them. They had arranged for the furniture to be delivered after 12pm, which gave the enough time to have gotten most of the stuff moved in.

JJ had left the door open so they could come straight it, Garcia's voice rung through the already telling Morgan to start moving the boxes into the van "But I want to" the glare her throw him got him to shut up and do as he was asked as she watched him bend down she drooled slightly as JJ walked over to her "How can anyone not find that the most sexiest thing" JJ laughed "If you say so Pen, if you say so" she teased.

The guys showed up not long after "What time do you call this?" Garcia asked as Hotch, Rossi and Reid walked through the door, Reid smiled at her "It is 7.45am Garcia" which in turn made everyone chuckle "If you wasn't so adorable I would shout at you for being late, but you two I expect better from" she stared at Hotch and Rossi "Sitter was late" Hotch grumbled which seemed to be acceptable for Garcia "Right well these boxes need to be taken down to the van" she clapped her hands together as she got them to work.

Emily chuckled "She is very" JJ shook her head "I know" they both rolled their eyes as JJ went to help. "Don't forget what I said Emily" JJ said as she started moving the boxes as Garcia interrupted "Sarah are you helping?" she lowered her voice slightly. Sarah tensed slightly as JJ stepped in "Karen is picking her up and they will met us later" Emily wrapped her arms around Sarah "Go get dressed sweetheart I will shout you when Karen gets here"

Emily settled herself on the stool in the kitchen as she watched them, she wanted to help but aside from the promise she had made, her back was aching slightly, but just because she couldn't help with the move, she could at least keep them fed and watered she thought as she began to pull some meat and salad out of the fridge, to make sandwiches for them all and getting the coffee machine ready. It had amazed her that it had only taken them a couple of hour to get everything into the van as they piled back into her kitchen slightly red in the face she could not help but laugh.

"You guys look worse than when we have to chase unsubs" she teased as Morgan pushed her slightly "just because you get to stand around and watch" he looked at her for a moment, as JJ slapped him around the back of his head "children behave or I will ground you both" they couldn't help but laugh as they all took a seat and began eating, JJ handed the coffees around as she stood behind Emily rubbing the lower of her back.

"So you will follow us or Morgan if he remembers how to get there" JJ joked "I do how can I forget" the rest of them hadn't seen the house yet all they had been told by Morgan and Garcia was it was big, which really wasn't much of a description for them, as they pulled up outside the house Reid let out a low whistle "Wow, Emily its huge not big" Rossi patted him on the shoulder "It's nice Prentiss" he said as she opened the door for them to have a look around before they started to unload the van.

The boxes were label so they were shown the different rooms so they all knew where the things were to be placed, Emily stood at the side watching her things be brought

JJ snaked her arms around her waist resting her fingers across her stomach "You okay babe" JJ whispered in her ear, Emily nodded slightly "Just not a lot really considering" she murmured "Well that can change and it will do sweetie, we've got one more trip to do, will you be okay with Garcia or would you rather I stay here with you while they get my things?" "I'll be okay" she paused slightly as she turned in her arms. "Don't take too long" her eyes pleaded as JJ nodded "Okay sweetie just relax while I'm gone we can sort everything out when we are alone" she smiled softly as she placed a light kiss against her lips.

"Are you okay Emily?" Garcia asked once everyone had left to collect JJ's things, "Yeah I'm good, how is everything with you" she smiled softly at her before finding the floor more interesting "Oh you know me peaches, I am always good" she beamed "I bet you two can't wait to get settled in" Emily shifted slightly "Yeah, could do with a soak in the bath as well though" she replied wishing JJ and they guys would hurry up getting back.

They continued to make small talk for a while, Emily was becoming more tired all she wanted to do was sit down or soak in the bath, she had woke up sore and the pain had now been with her most of the day and she was becoming more and more irritable, luckily the furniture arrived to distract them both, they men put the things where Emily and Garcia told them, just as they were leaving Morgan arrived with the van and the rest following in the car.

By 4pm everything was done, Emily and JJ had treated them all to lunch to say thank you, they were finally alone Emily curled into JJ on the new sofa since neither of them wanted to even think about unpacking they had tomorrow to do it before they were back in work, "Jennifer" Emily said softly as she nuzzled into her more "What it is Em, you've been quite all day" she let out a soft sigh "I really need a bath my back is killing me for some reason, but will you join me?" JJ kissed the top of her head "Of course sweetie, and maybe an early night" she replied in a seductive voice.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**May**

This was their home, this was their new start, this was where they were going to become a family, this was meant to feel safe, and yet again no matter how tired she was, she just could not settle, it had been the same thing for the past few nights.

Emily moved slightly and unwrapped herself from JJ's embrace carefully not to wake her, she sat up and watched her for a while, she knew she was lucky, she knew she loved the woman who held her every night, who helped sooth the nightmares when they came, and with her she felt safe.

With JJ there was no need to put on a macho attire, she could and would allow her vulnerable side to show, she could let her walls down and be scared and cry in her arms. Therefore, why on earth could she not sleep!

After watching JJ she went to get up finding her dressing gown which luckily they had left hanging on the back of the door for them both, she walked downstairs, finding her familiar writing pad, it was the only thing Emily had asked not to be packed up she had kept it close to her and placed it in the kitchen drawer, she grabbed her pad and pen and walked into the dining room, putting the heating on since it was still chilly.

**Dear Jennifer,**

**I have been sat staring at this most nights not knowing how to explain or how to open up, but again I can't sleep and you will wake to find cold sheets again, I am sorry but I know or I hope you know it is nothing to do with you.**

**You said we do not talk about Rob and your right we do not, I am not sure that I can! What happened to Sarah, I know I wasn't me that did that to her but sometimes I blame myself because I couldn't find her sooner 8 fucking months Jen 8 months of her being! I wish I never watched the tapes but I am glad I did because it helped me understand her more.**

**She is my baby and I couldn't protect her Jen, I couldn't stop the pain and I couldn't make it go away and I still can't all I can do for her is show her love. Is it my fault my baby has gotten so lost and has never found her way home to me?**

**Jen I had to hide everything back then because my baby was drowning, so hurt, and scared. The day she went missing is the day I lost her and what came home was a scared baby. Jen when we found her she would not come near me it took six hours. It killed me Jen my baby feared me. Am I a monster?**

**Sarah didn't blame me though so I blamed myself more, making myself believe that she didn't blame me because she feared me, so I blamed myself, I blamed myself for everything, and to a degree I was right… **

**I had a great idea that was the night I knew she was better off without me she would be safe if I was dead. Karen found me though, just as she found my baby. What if something happens to this little one Jen?**

**I just hurt everyone, I am going to end up hurting you, I already have, and I know I have. In addition, this, with Rob has brought her fears back, her pain, and Jen its killing me! I close my eyes I see her but then I see Rob and what if I have evil growing inside me.**

**If I cannot protect myself, how can I protect you? I just seem to be bad luck and more so with them I love. Sarah hurt because of me… you hurt because you saw, what if I hurt this baby. What if when I look at it all I see is him? What do we tell it about their dad? Do we lie or do we tell them, it is here because of a brutal act? How will that make it feel? **

**God Jennifer I am so scared what if I cannot love it. What if I hurt it or worse? What if I hurt you? Would you all be better off without me? Are you going to be able to love it? What if you can't stay with me because I am dirty? I am tainted scum. What if**

JJ had turned in her sleep to find cold sheets again opening her eyes her heart sunk Emily had gone again from their bed she looked at the clock rubbing her eyes 3.42am she sighed softly as she got out of the bed grabbing her dressing gown, hoping she could get Emily to come back to bed and get some sleep.

She had watched her all day as she struggled to talk to their friends she looked drawn and tired, JJ had guess in the past few days she must have only had around 6 hours sleep from the dark circles that shadowed her eyes and it broke her heart.

She made her way downstairs slowly the glow from under the dining room door told her Emily was in there, she made a stop in the kitchen to put the coffee machine on for them both, before heading to her.

She stood at the door for a few moments hearing the soft cries of the woman she loved; opening the door, she whispered "Emily" last thing she wanted to do was scare her.

Emily dropped her pen upon hearing her name she looked up with tears running down her face, but her eyes were blank, JJ walked slowly over to her "Come on Em" she said softly moving the pen and paper, before carefully taking hold of her hands.

Emily shook her head slightly she looked at JJ then at the pad, before pushing it towards her "You want me to?" JJ asked as she kept hold of her other hand "I…" she looked down as she nodded. She knew she needed to allow her, she had promised her and deep down she knew if she let JJ in maybe, she could help her overcome her fears, even if it was not everything for now it was enough.

JJ took her time reading what Emily had wrote keeping the brunette close to her she wiped a tear away that was rolling down her face as she finished before looking at her "Come on let's have a coffee and if you want we can talk about some of this" her voice was soft and kind and filled with love, Emily only looked at her as JJ pulled her up taking the pad in her other hand and walking into the kitchen.

She placed the cup in front of her which Emily wrapped her fingers around grateful of the heat that was slowly warming her, "Jennifer" she said weakly, she gave Emily a soft smile before she spoke "Emily do you know how proud I am of you?" Emily frowned slightly, part of her was confused and the other was thinking JJ had read the wrong letter "ww...hy?" JJ sat next to her placing the pad in front of them wrapping her hand around her waist so Emily could lean into her.

"I am proud for some many reasons Em, you did something that even I was worried you might not have done you are slowly letting me in and your trying and that makes me so proud of you, because you trust me enough to let me look at this and share what is going on in your beautiful mind" JJ said as Emily leaned into her.

"Sarah is strong because you are, and you need to stop punishing yourself for that," she said softly as Emily mumbled "How?" JJ kissed her brow "I want if you think you can and I can even be with you if you want, but you need to talk to someone about this, I don't have the answers, not all of them anyway, but I want to help I need to help you because I love you" she paused slightly.

"You wouldn't need to tell them about this" as she placed her hand on Emily's stomach "because I think, and I may be I am wrong but, you need to deal with what happened with you and Sarah before you can fully deal with what Rob has done to you" JJ held her closer feeling Emily shuddered at the mention of Rob's name "Do you think you can do that or do you want to think about it?" JJ asked

Emily didn't answer straight away as she tried to control the tears that were falling "only if your with me" Emily finally whispered into her chest as JJ held her tighter "Already told you I'm not going anywhere" she said softly causing Emily to smile slightly "thank you" she let out in a breath.

"And as for this Emily, I am safe with you, so is Sarah, you didn't hurt me, can you try and understand that?" she asked softly but not waiting for her to reply "I already love our baby which is growing inside of you, because Emily they are part of you, you are a good person a loving person, just because of how they came to be, will not change my feelings towards them or you, you are stuck with me Prentiss" she said in a firm but kind voice. "But can you please stop calling the baby IT!" JJ smirked as Emily shook her head against her.

"I am so glad you don't hide from me and you let me see you, not the Emily we see at work, though I do feel Morgan knows you better than I do and yet I'm the one sleeping in your bed" JJ teased trying to make Emily calm down more in the hopes of getting her back to bed for a few more hours.

"He doesn't know everything" Emily mused as the tears finally stopped falling "Let's take these upstairs, do you think you are going to be able to get some sleep baby, you look so tired" JJ said as she looked in her eyes, which now seemed to have life in them and not the blankness she had seen the past few months "I can try" Emily said as she tried to keep close to JJ which is hard when you have to move to get to bed.

Finally JJ had got her back into bed pulling her close so that her head rested on her chest so Emily could hear her heart beat as she spoke softly "Emily I'm not scared of you, so please stop worrying that you might hurt me because I know you won't" "Okay" Emily mumbled as she closed her eyes it was something she couldn't promise yet.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Location: Home**

**June 5.43am**

The past month they had made progress Emily was now in therapy which JJ sometimes went to with her, in truth both of them now saw a therapist, it had helped JJ had finally watched the recordings that Rob had of Emily and it had broken her heart, but it also gave her a better insight of how to help her. Though Morgan and Garcia tried to talk her out of watching it but she needed to, because sometimes she couldn't always reach Emily when she got fully trapped in her mind.

Emily open up more though sometimes she had become plagued with nightmares but they were becoming less or at least as bad as before, they had gotten themselves into a nice routine, but this morning wasn't really part of their normal routine.

JJ was pulled out of her sleep my the phone drilling through the bedroom, though in her mind it wasn't a phone ringing she reached for Emily, but no the bed sheets where Emily slept were empty and only slightly warm, she groaned as she tried to locate her alarm.

No still the noise came as she finally woke up reaching for the dreaded phone "Jareau" she answered her voice laden with sleep. "Okay we will be right in" she ended the call pulling herself straight out of the bed and heading to the bathroom.

She pulled up short once she had opened the door, slumped over the toilet seat was Emily her eyes were closed but the telling sign of why was all too clear, "Emily" she said softly as the brunette grunted "Can you, I need to."

Emily opened her eyes and looked at JJ who was stood cross-legged and half dancing in the door way "Sorry "she mumbled as she moved so JJ could use the toilet.

JJ smiled softly as she finished her morning rituals "We have a case Em" she said as she walked back into the bedroom letting out a slight laugh as she look at the sight before her.

Emily was laid out on the bed sprawled over the covers her eyes were glued on the not so small bump that protected their child, if it wasn't morning sickness that was waking Emily at all hours of the night it was her hormones that woke her which in turn woke JJ.

"Em" she said in a half chuckle trying to get Emily to move some mornings was hard enough but when she had been up most the night vomiting well it was even harder. "I know" she groaned as she tried to sit back up "Little help over her?" she murmured.

JJ rolled her eyes slightly as she helped Emily sit up kissing her softly "You are a beautiful sight" JJ teased gently, Emily smiled softly "Can you tell your child to behave" Emily whined she had only managed to get just over three hours sleep she could normally cope on little sleep but in her words to JJ 'the added weight is killing me slowly.'

**Location: BAU**

Emily and JJ were the next to arrive after Hotch, even though they lived closer than him with Emily struggling some days to get out of bed or needing the toilet or the dreaded morning sickness it was as though they still lived in the Condo, Hotch greeted them both "Did you both see the file?" he asked as they sat at the table. "We did" JJ said slightly worried, they all knew how Morgan was going to react to the case.

Once Emily had started to show more Morgan had turned from best friend and partner in to an overly protective bear and to put it nicely Emily just about gotten ready to kill him, if Hotch didn't take her fully out of active field duty she was going to find another use for her gun and cuffs.

And neither which Hotch wanted to see, but this also meant that JJ was out in the field more and Emily didn't like this all that much and with this case that they had landed she was on edge.

They rest arrived not long after as JJ handed them all the files; "You're not serious are you?" Morgan asked as he looked at the case, Reid was muttering under his breathe but Emily could hear him, she rolled her eyes as she looked at JJ.

Rossi looked at them all he too had become an over protective figure in their life the more Emily had started showing, to the point of making Emily eat healthy food and enough for all three of them.

"As you can see we have four victims" JJ started but was interrupted by Morgan "This is a sick joke right?" "Morgan!" Hotch warned, allowing JJ continue "Each victim was 6 months pregnant when they were taken" Reid sighed "Have the babies been found?" "No, they haven't located them as of yet" JJ replied just as Reid started up again

"The lungs are developing branches of the respiratory tree and cells that produce surfactant. This is a substance that helps the air sacs inflate easily and also keeps the small air sacs in our lungs from collapsing. The baby practices breathing by inhaling amniotic fluid into developing lungs." He paused as he glanced at Emily "So if they were delivered and had no complications and were kept in intensive care environment, then yes a baby could survive"

Emily had paled slightly as Reid spoke her hand covering her mouth as Morgan clipped him on the back of his head "Enough" he warned. For all Reid's brains, he still lack the sense of when it was best not to spout off facts luckily he hadn't said anything about percentage of the survival rate.

"We will talk more on the plane, wheels up in 30" Hotch said as he left the room, leaving his younger team members alone, "Emily" Morgan said carefully "Morgan don't" JJ said knowing what might have been coming, and really they could do without Emily being put into a foul mood.

**Location: BAU Jet**

They sat in silence as they had taken off, Emily was staring at the pictures and reading over the medical notes, her hand was unconsciously rubbing over her stomach as JJ watched her carefully, Emily's voice broke the silence "Reid how much knowledge would you need to do this?" she asked. "Any one with basic surgery skills or medical knowledge could do this."

Emily shook her head as he spoke again "What's bugging you?" she smiled slightly "The fact that they haven't been dumped they have been placed the fact that they were covered which shows remorse" Emily paused "You think we could be looking for a woman?" Morgan asked

"Yes I think we might be. A man" she looked at the team "No offense" she said as she carried on "Wouldn't take this much care, they would have dumped the bodies once they had gotten the baby from her, they would not have taken the time to lay her out covering her up, and if you can see past the blood that is, they are clean and well groom, only a woman would take this amount of care"

Emily looked at them with a weak smile; this was one case she didn't want to be in the field for. "I think you may be right Emily" Hotch said, "Then we could be looking for someone who maybe had a miscarry" Emily cut Morgan off slightly "I'd lean more to someone who had a still born" She looked at Morgan as he frowned slightly before Reid spoke.

"Stillbirth is the death of an infant in-utero and past 20 completed gestational weeks. The majority of these deaths occur at or near full term — they are otherwise healthy babies that die shortly before or during birth. More than 26,000 babies are stillborn in the United States each year" "REID" JJ shouted as Emily began to pick at her nails. He looked at her and then at Emily "sorry" he said softly, this case was going to test them all.

The first day they had managed to give the profile to the locals and where waiting for Garcia to give them so new of the searches they had asked her to-do, Emily was looking at the map as Reid stood by her side "You okay Reid" Emily asked softly. "Why wouldn't I be, just need to work on this more and hopefully we can give Hotch something" Emily sighed softly moving away to look at the files again.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"Jen" JJ smiled before walking into the bathroom "What's wrong baby" she said softly cupping her cheek "I just keep thinking that well" she bites the inside of her lip "Oh sweetheart, nothing is going to happen to this little one, you know full well I won't allow it." Emily nodded though it did not stop the tears from falling.

"Come to bed, have you rung Sarah?" Emily shook her head slightly "Right well let's ring her it will make you feel better" JJ smirked pulling out her phone. "Hey Karen" JJ said softly "Hey Jennifer, is everything okay" Karen smiled into the phone "Yeah just a rough case, is Sarah still awake" Karen sighed slightly "Not sure let me check, is Emmy okay?" JJ chuckled "She will be once she hears her baby's voice" Karen knocked softly on the door before walking in on a very sleepy Sarah "Sarah" Karen said pulling her attention slightly.

"Um?" her eyes only just staying open as she sat up slightly "Mom wants you" Sarah nodded as Karen passed over the phone. JJ passed Emily the phone curling behind her and wrapping her arm protectively around her. "Hey mom" she said in a slight yawn "Did we wake you" Emily's voice sounded detached "Mom what's wrong," Sarah asked sitting up more, JJ pulled Emily closer "Just a rough case, what you been doing today" JJ kissed her neck softly as she listened to them talk and Emily slowly relaxing more. "Love you Sarah." Emily said as she tried to hold back a moan. "Bye Mom give my love to Jennifer," Sarah said not waiting on an answer.

"Jennifer" her husked voice whispered as JJ kissed around towards her jawline before colliding with her lips, Emily hesitated for a moment before JJ reassured her "Your safe Em, I promise" she whispered into her ear as she ran her fingers down Emily's sides catching the outline of her breasts causing the older woman to shiver slightly. JJ tilted her head slightly as she began to kiss along her jawline up towards her lips pulling her into a deep kiss that left them both panting as they broke away.

JJ looked into her eyes which had now darkened with desire as she slowly began to undo the button on her blouse as she gently kissed her neck whispering softly into her ear as her fingers grazed over the new exposed skin, Emily shivered at the touch her blouse dropped to the floor as JJ reached behind her back undoing her bra strap, JJ carefully removed the straps allowing them to fall to the floor as one hand cupped the exposed breast.

Her finger gently grazed over her nipple as she spoke "stand up baby" she said softly as her pants dropped to the floor, JJ kissed her softly before breaking away "Lay down baby" Emily nodded slightly as she laid down on the bed her body hummed as JJ continued to kiss along her neck before settling on her pulse point causing a slight moan from the brunette as her fingers gently grazed over her nipple as she gently began to roll it between her two finger as her lips kissed down her chest her tongue gently running over her skin towards her other breast JJ's lips latched around her nipple as her tongue gently grazed over it as she began to suck softly.

Emily moaned as JJ sucked gently against her breast her fingers twisting the other slightly, she pulled her closer as Emily's finger ran through her hair pulling her closer to her skin, she moaned softly against Emily, as she began to kiss back up towards her lips "Jennifer" she husked as she looked into deep blue eyes leaning down as she cover her lips with her own into a deep kiss.

Emily ran her fingers over JJ's back and sides as she began to lift her top over her head breaking them both from the kiss, JJ moaned loudly as Emily cupped her breasts kneading them between her fingers, the fire burned in her stomach as Emily began to twist her nipple causing her to gasp and moan against the brunette as she settled on kissing her pulse point "God Emily yes" she moaned as finger raked against her skin.

JJ arched into her touch as her hips began to move against Emily leg, she could feel the wetness between her panties as she rocked against her thigh, JJ moved up slightly as Emily pulled her upwards gently he lips making their way to her chest, grazing her tongue over her nipple before gently sucking her teeth grazed the taut nipple before soothing it with her tongue. JJ's leg rested against her core as she continued to rock against her, Emily tensed at the touch slightly causing JJ to look up "Shh, your safe baby" Emily nodded trusting JJ to lead the dance. Just the way she had most nights.

She ached for JJ to penetrate her but it was impossible, JJ ran her tongue against each scar that marred her body basking them with love, she claimed them every time they made love, Emily relaxed more with each touch her legs widening. JJ's tongue swirled against her naval as she moved towards where she was needed.

"God Jennifer" Emily moaned out as her fingers twisted in the sheets "Mmm god has nothing to do with this" JJ mused softly trailing her tongue over her pubic bone, before running down her groin "fuck" Emily hissed slightly as her hips bucked under JJ. Carefully she settled between Emily's legs, running her tongue along the inside of her thigh.

"Please baby" Emily moaned, JJ looked up closing her eyes as she whispered softly, Emily would tense slightly every time she touched her core as she waited for the wave of fear to pass before running her tongue through her folds. JJ loved the scent of the woman beneath her as her tongue gently swirled against her, before grazing her clit softly "Jen….mmm" Emily moaned as her hips rocked softly.

JJ smirked knowing that Emily was close, though she never pushed her over the edge just yet, her fingers gently replaced her tongue over her clit as she trailed soft kiss back up her body paying attention to the lovely taut nipples as her fingers rub gently. "Open your eyes baby" JJ said softly as she made her way up her chest. Emily tensed slightly before settling her eyes on loving blue ones. Emily moaned her name loudly as JJ's lips met her as she pushed more against her clit "mmm" Emily moaned into her mouth as her body tensed again as the waves of her climax made her body shudder.

JJ fingers ran along her skin as she waited for Emily to come down from her high wrapping her arms around her "I love you Emily" she whispered, Emily smiled softly her eyes deep with desire "Love you too" JJ smiled as she placed a soft kiss on her lips "Turn on your side baby" Emily nodded turning so JJ could spoon her pulling her close her hand resting protectively against her "thank you" Emily whispered as she allowed sleep to claim her.

**Location: Police Station**

Morgan couldn't help but smirk as JJ and Emily walked into the room they were using "Good morning ladies" Emily smiled "Morning" he couldn't help but sniggered "Have a good night?" he mused causing JJ to blush "Oh god" she let out in a slight groan "I thought that was Emily's line" her mused "What was Emily's line?" Hotch asked as him Reid and Rossi entered the room with their breakfast "Nothing Hotch just Morgan being Morgan" Emily said with a slight glare.

"Hey baby mamma what you got for me" Morgan grinned as he answered the phone "A picture of you naked with cream" Emily couldn't help but laugh "Your on speaker" Morgan said as the team chuckled around him "Oh, right" Garcia stutter out slightly "Garcia" Hotch said slightly amused.

"Well my babies have found that only two women have had still born at six months" Emily sighed "How long ago" Emily asked "Well my little princess, if you would allow me to finish" Garcia mused softly "Helen Wordsworth lost her baby not long after her husband was killed in a drive by shooting, poor little might she is only 24" JJ groaned slightly "Then there is Paula Harris I have sent you both the address to your phones," Morgan smiled sadly "Thanks Mamma" Garcia smiled "God speed my lovely's" Emily shook her head slightly.

"JJ your with me, Morgan you go with Rossi let's see if we can rule it out" Emily swallowed as she pulled the pictures up on the laptop, Helen had long brown hair that was nearly black, while Paula had long red hair, Emily groaned slightly as they left the room "Ever get the feeling something bad is going to happen Reid" Emily mused slightly. To which Reid did not reply.

Three hours later Rossi and Morgan returned, "Any luck" Emily asked as Morgan shook his head "Paula is definitely not the un-sub," Morgan said "And you're sure of this because?" Rossi smiled "She would have a very hard time lifting a body Prentiss" Emily shook her head "You can't just come out with a straight answer can you, would make things fair easier" Emily said in a slight groan "Hotch and JJ are with the media, since they were unable to track down Helen they should be back soon. We are just trying to map out her daily routine," Emily said as she started to move towards the door.

"Where you going princess?" Morgan asked softly, Emily raised an eyebrow "toilet if that's okay" Morgan smiled "of course" he waited slightly before making a move to follow her "She will kill you Morgan if you follow her" Reid warned slightly which Morgan just shrugged.

JJ had just gotten back from giving a press conference as Emily blazed into the room spinning on her heels to glare at Morgan "I am going to get some god damn fresh air and I do not need you" She pointed her finger into his chest "To hold my hand, for god's sake I'm an adult not a child" with that she walked back out the room never noticing Hotch or JJ as she stepped out of the station.

JJ thought it was best to leave her for a moment before going and talking to her but first she wanted to know why Emily was so angry "What the hell happened?" JJ asked as she looked at him, he look down at the floor, as Reid cut in to tell JJ "Emily needed the toilet and Morgan went to hold her hand" JJ glared at Morgan "You did what!" pinching the bridge of her nose

"Really Morgan, well in fact, this goes for all of you, she is pregnant not some china doll that needs to be wrapped up in bubble wrap. Do you know how you are making her and me feel she if 35 for god's sake not 17!"

"JJ I" "Don't you dare Morgan, even I would not have gone with her to the toilet" her eyes blazed at him, she was beyond annoyed "Would you like it if I came and held your hand to pee?" Morgan held is head low, in his eyes Emily's temper was a breeze compared with JJ's.

JJ turned to leave the room "JJ where are you going?" Morgan asked as she opened the door "To find her, or have you all forgotten that we have a homicidal woman on the loose, which has a thing for pregnant brunettes" she shouted as the door slammed behind her.

JJ walked out the station on the hope of finding Emily before they all came looking, her eyes focused on the bench her familiar form and shuddered breathe gave her away as JJ slowly made towards her.

JJ slightly slowing her pace down as she spotted another woman appeared out of the back end of the walkway. JJ stared at this other women watching her. JJ began to speed up towards Emily, the other woman was also making a beeline towards Emily and JJ had a sick feeling in her gut; she needed to get to Emily.

Her hand rested on the handle of her gun as she moved faster her other hand had the phone to her ear "outside now" JJ said as soon a Hotch picked up. Emily looked up for a moment as she heard JJ's voice flow through the air, but it was not JJ's hand that rested on hers.

Emily's head flew round to see who had hold of her before she heard an all too familiar sound "FBI, Don't move" JJ said her voice firm and steady though she did not feel it, this woman had her hands on Emily. They stared at each other as "Helen this is the FBI, let go of her and get on the ground" Hotch's voice boomed from behind JJ.

"You don't understand, she has to come with me," she shouted "Helen let her go she has nothing to do with this, she is innocent" Rossi said as he flanked JJ, their guns were all pointed at her. She looked at the people in front of her for a moment as Emily's body tensed up completely. "You don't have to do this" Emily said softly "I do need to do this," she breathed.

"Let her go Helen" JJ said as she locked eyes with Emily, Emily nodded in her understanding, as she moved slightly to her left just as JJ spoke "This is your last chance, move away from her" JJ's voice had been dangerous her gun was leveled at Helen as Emily moved slightly to give her more room.

"This is going to hurt" Emily muttered just as JJ fired her gun dropping both women to the floor "We need a medic" JJ scream as her and Morgan raced over to Emily and Helen, placing two fingers on her pulse point Morgan shook his head, his eyes going wide in shock as JJ pushed down on Emily; the blood seeping through her fingers.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**Location: Car park **

**2.03pm**

"Where is that medic" Morgan yelled as JJ struggled to stem the blood the was seeping out "Look at me Em" JJ said softly keeping her eyes on Emily, as Emily focused on the blonde "Don't you dare close them eyes" she smiled weakly at her Emily went to talk "Shh sweetie help is coming" JJ said.

Morgan scolded her from the side "You shot her, you shot her JJ, what the hell" JJ closed her eyes as the gravelly voice caught his ear "don't, not her fault" JJ had to stop herself from laughing as Morgan looked at her confused "Not her fault? She fired the damned gun," he said firmly. JJ could not help the snigger before looking back down at Emily "Sarah is going to kill me" Emily tried to smile "She won't" she whispered.

"Morgan" Hotch called from behind him pulling him away from his two friends, he shook his head slightly as he looked at him "Where the medics?" "They are on the way" Hotch replied as he watched Rossi kneel down at JJ's side.

"How is she doing kiddo" he asked softly Emily blinked as they heard the ambulance's sirens, JJ gave a half smile before looking at him "She needs to learn to move over a little more next time" JJ said as she winked at Emily.

They were interrupted as the medic kindly asked them to move. "Excuse me ma'am" he said softly we need to get her to "I know and I will be coming with you" she stated as she looked at Rossi "We will meet you there kiddo" he said as he walked back over to the rest of the team

"She shot her Hotch! How can you just stand there and why does it not worry you?" Rossi chuckled slightly "let's go and catch them up, Morgan Prentiss will be fine" he said as they walked over to the cars. Reid stood at the car door "She really shot her?" his voice sounding very unsure.

* * *

Emily was taken straight into the treatment room as JJ filled in the paper work "How far along is she Ma'am?" the nurse asked as she was writing the notes up "Six months and she is carrying twins," the nurse nodded "Thank you" she smiled before heading back into the treatment area.

* * *

JJ groaned as she heard Emily repeatedly telling the doctors to get off her and leave her alone, she had been ushered out of the room under protest, they rest of the team walked over to JJ as she paced in the small area. "JJ is she…" Morgan paused as he heard a very angry voice rip through the corridor. "That's it I'm going back in there," JJ said as she headed towards Emily's room.

**(Meanwhile in the treatment room)**

"We just need to check that your babies are unharmed you lost a lot of blood" the doctor tried again "I said get off me I am fine" "Ma'am you have been shot, you have lost a lot of blood we need to check to make sure they are okay" he insisted "And I am telling you NO Damn it!" Emily shouted getting more and more stressed, "Ma'am by-law we have to check" "I KNOW WHAT THE DAMN LAW IS AND STILL NO!"

"Excuse me ma'am you can't be in here" the doctor said as JJ opened the door "If you want to check on the wealth fare of OUR children then I can be here" JJ said very firmly, she knew why Emily was reluctant to allow them to do the ultra sound. The doctor's jaw opened slightly "You shot your partner?" he said in disbelief "No she didn't move over enough" JJ stated again. As she walked over to Emily

"Sweetie let them check please, I want to know I haven't hurt peanut before they are born" JJ said softly as Emily grumbled "Okay to hurt me but not peanut" as she turned her face allowing them to open her shirt.

A slight gasp could be heard as the doctor saw the scars that marred her skin. "Is there a problem?" JJ asked as she looked at him "No ma'am" he said slightly unsure as his eyes raked over her stomach, causing Emily to lean into JJ more, "this will be cold" he warned as he smeared the gel on her lower stomach

"You have two very healthy little ones" he said as they listened to the sound of the hearts beating through the screen "Thank you" Emily said a lot calmer now that JJ was at her side as she gripped a little tighter.

"How bad is her arm?" JJ asked the doctor as he moved slightly "Through and through, light duties for a few weeks then it will have to be re-examined, but it should be fully healed within a few months but you will have to have some physio on the arm once it has healed" he said looking at her.

Emily scowled at him and grumbled her thanks, the doctor left the room to get the papers as JJ fastened up Emily's shirt "Sorry baby" JJ said softly "I knew it was going to hurt" Emily smiled "It's okay sweetie I promise, just my shoulder hurts like hell"

* * *

"How are you feeling?" Morgan asked as he walked down the corridor with her, while JJ and the team pulled the cars to the entry doors "Like I got shot" Emily joked before looking at worried and sad eyes "Morgan, what is it" Emily said as they paused "She shot you and your fine with that?" he said his voice showing hurt and controlled anger and worry "I am, but why aren't you?" Emily asked, he looked at her for a moment before wrapping one arm around her "I nearly lost you once princess, I can't do it again," Morgan admitted

"Derek listen to me please" Emily said as she looked straight into his eyes "I knew she was going to have to shoot, I also knew the only way for it to happen was for the bullet to go through me hence I moved slightly" she looked down at her arm and shook her head "I just didn't move enough" "that's what she said" he admitted "Don't be mad at her please, she was just doing her job"

Emily walked with him out towards the car he looked at JJ and smiled slightly as she spoke "We good?" Morgan nodded "A little warning next time" he teased. Emily looked at them both "No next time please" she said as JJ helped her in the car "Next time you will move further" JJ joked as Emily slapped her with her good hand.

* * *

**Location: BAU Jet**

Emily was sat facing JJ as she studied her face she spoke softly "Jennifer" JJ looked at her giving a half smile before staring at her arm "talk to me sweetie" Emily said in a low voice as JJ shook her head slightly before answering very softly "I shot you"

Emily reached over taking her hand in her own "don't you dare beat yourself up about this, it wasn't your fault, if you hadn't of taken the shot" Emily paused as her voice rose slightly "Jennifer you're the only person I know who could have taken that shot and not missed" she said focusing on her eyes, "what if I had" "but you didn't sweetie" Emily pulled her hand up towards her lips and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles.

"And stop worrying about Sarah I spoke to Karen while you was getting everything from the hotel" Emily smirked "She is going to kill me" Emily shook her head "She won't because she knows you love me and wouldn't hurt me. I told Karen that if you had not of taken the shot I would have had a bullet through my head and she will explain that to her. I promise Sarah will be okay and also you're not the first person to shoot me."

JJ raised her eyebrow "Who" Emily chuckled slightly "Karen and she shot me in the leg" JJ's went wide "I will explain that later and you can have a good laugh at me okay" JJ smiled "I will hold you to that"

JJ had moved next to Emily so she could relax and get some sleep, Hotch smiled at JJ looking at the now sleeping brunette who was leaning against her shoulder JJ fingers were running through her hair as she looked at her boss "Are you okay?" He asked keeping his voice low as he sat across from her.

"I guess, I thought she would have at least been, you know mad" he shook his head as he spoke "JJ you took a very hard shot today and even Reid will tell you, from where we were you was the only person who could have taken it without it ending with two fatalities, instead of just one, Emily trusts you JJ, she doesn't blame you. And you shouldn't blame yourself either"

He stood up walking to her side resting an hand on her shoulder as he spoke "You are the only person she wanted and would have trusted to take the shot and I bet if you asked her she hates that you had to make that shot because you love each other" a small smile spread across JJ's face as he spoke feeling Emily move next to her she turned

Hotch walked back to his seat with Rossi "Think they will be okay?" he asked quietly "They will, they have something you don't see very often" Hotch said as he looked at his two agents, his two friends.

Emily stirred slightly before trying to stretch her arms forgetting that one was in a sling "Shit" she muttered as JJ looked at her "Emily" Emily turned and looked at her "Hey sweetie, you okay?" JJ nodded before kissing her softly; though everyone in the team knew they were a couple they never displayed their affection too each other outside their home it was a silent agreement between them both "Jen, I think we really need to talk to the boys because if they carry on I will be using them as target practice" Emily mused,

They still had another hour on the plane so since they had nowhere they could hide to, JJ thought it would be better to do it now than try when they got back to the BAU. "Guys can me and Emily have a word please" JJ said causing them to all crowd around where they were sat.

"First off" Emily started "If anyone has a problem with what happened today then you see me not Jennifer, she does not make a habit out of shooting me" she glared slightly at Morgan, "And the second thing is, I am pregnant, I am not ill, I do not need my hand held, I do not need you hovering over me like I am about to break" Emily paused as she looked at them JJ rested her hand on her leg and squeezed it slightly.

"Also since I may need early leave Hotch you may as all well know I am carrying twins" JJ smiled as the boys looked on in shock "That explains a lot" Hotch muttered to himself "Congrats then ladies" JJ look at him "Just one more thing" she gave them all a pointed look.

"We love you guys you are our family but this constantly treating us both like children is driving us both insane" JJ looked at them "We love you all so much and you have and are supporting us so much more than you know but" Rossi held his hands up as he spoke "Sorry we just worry" he said kindly.

Emily looked at him for a moment "I know we don't talk about what happened and right now I can't either" Emily closed her eyes it was one thing JJ seeing this side of her and a total other thing when her friends saw it, "But that doesn't mean I am going to break or that Jennifer is going to break either, we need you all." She paused

"But we also need to be able to breathe without Morgan thinking I am over tired" JJ cut in "If I blow my nose is doesn't mean I have been crying either" she looked at her friends their family "Please don't take offense at this we love you so much" Morgan looked at them both and nodded "Sorry I will try and be a little less protective" Emily laughed "Thank you"

They group disappeared back to their own seats but Hotch stayed close as he moved to sit across from them both "I am sorry we have made you feel like this, we just want to help because neither of you came to us before and this" he looked down at Emily's small bump "is something we all want to keep safe and away from harm" he smiled softly at them both before speaking to them all.

"Finish your paperwork when you get back and we can debrief so we can have a long weekend, JJ can you help Prentiss write hers up" He said looking at her arm, "I will" she smiled

* * *

**Location: BAU**

The team were finally back and Emily for one was not looking forward to seeing Garcia, if anyone got hurt on the team it always affected her badly, but even JJ was slightly reluctant to see her, it was Emily who had been hurt and she had been hurt by JJ, "I have spoken to her you know" Morgan said behind them both causing them to turn around "Told her to go easy on you both and not to worry" he smiled softly

"How did that conversation end?" Emily asked knowing full well what Garcia would have said as the doors to the elevators opened, there stood Garcia to greet them, Emily kept hold of JJ's hand, and she really didn't want JJ getting the blame off anyone for her being hurt

Garcia looked at them both for a moment "Oh Emily" she said softly as she looked at her arm before her eyes narrowed at JJ "You, You, How could you" Emily stood in front of JJ and stared at her for a moment "Don't Garcia, this was not her fault and I will not have anyone blaming her" Garcia closed her mouth before she spoke "Sarah is in the kitchen" With that Garcia walked into the bullpen calling her over.

"Nice sling Mom, better than having your leg in cast" Sarah teased as she looked at JJ and smiled "She really is a good shot mom" Sarah said, as she looked at the rest of the team and laughed, before she turned to JJ "Jennifer please tell me mom didn't shot the doctors?" "No but it was close" JJ teased as Emily rolled her eyes looking at the Morgan and Garcia, who's jaws were slightly a jarred.

She chuckled slightly before turning to JJ with a slight look of concern showing on her face "Jennifer a woman called for you and asked you to ring her, she was very off handed with me" "Did she leave a name?" JJ asked as she looked at Sarah "Sandy" "Oh thanks" JJ said softly


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**Location: Home**

**9am**

"Jennifer, it's going to be fine" Emily tried again "How can you say that, I haven't told her everything" Emily looked at her in surprise "What do you mean you haven't told her everything?" she asked, "well she knows about us" JJ paused giving Emily time to speak "And does she have a problem with us?" "No, no not at all, she is happy that I have found someone"

Emily smiled "Okay then what part, haven't you told her about?" "That you're pregnant" Emily's eyes went slightly wide as she looked down at the baby bump, "Jennifer I hate to say it but we cannot exactly hide this"

Emily looked at her for a moment "Jennifer I am sure she won't be mad, maybe shocked but not mad" JJ shook her head "it's not that I didn't want to tell her Em, I didn't know how to explain it" Emily nodded "Maybe the truth would be best sweetie, but it is also something we should do together" Emily said as she wrapped her arms around her pulling her close.

"What if she hates them and wants nothing to do with them" Emily kissed her head softly "What if she doesn't like you" Emily chuckled slightly "she doesn't know me well enough to not like me and also I am sure if she sees your happy and looked after she won't" Emily tried to reassure her.

"Jennifer, does she know we are engaged?" Emily asked softly, JJ nodded slightly "yes and I think that's why she wanted to come" Emily wrapped her arms around tighter "We will do this together, what time should she arrive" she asked, JJ let out a big sigh "About half an hour"

Emily closed her eyes slightly as she rested her head against JJ's "Well then, I guess we put the coffee on and work out how we are going to tell her she is going to be a grandmother" JJ let out a dry chuckle as she moved to look at her "Do we tell her everything or just" JJ sighed as she really didn't want her mother knowing about Emily's torcher.

"Jennifer we can just tell her what we want to, and what she needs to know, we could say it happened when we was on a" Emily sighed she really was not sure herself what to say.

They sat in the front room both in their own thoughts trying to work out how best to deal with this when the ringing of the front door bell pulled their attention "I'll get it Em" JJ smiled as she got up "It's going to be okay" Emily said as JJ headed towards the door

JJ opened the door smiling as her mom wrapped her arms around her daughter "sweetheart" she whispered as she kissed her cheek "it's great to see you mom, come on in, you have a good trip here" JJ smiled as they both walked in "It was very pleasant, I must say this is a lovely home"

"So where is this Emily I have heard so much about, it will be so nice to put a name to the voice" Sandy said, JJ took a deep breathe "She is in the lounge, would you like me to show you around" JJ smiled "Oh after you can but first things first" she grinned "I want to meet the woman who has put this lovely smile on my babies face"

Emily was sat on the sofa getting more and more nervous, she did not want to let JJ notice but if this went badly. JJ would be heartbroken and that would mean Emily would be too, she took a deep breath as the door opened.

She got up to greet Sandy smiling shyly "Sandy it is so nice to meet you" Emily said as she held out her hand, Sandy frown slightly making Emily more nervous than she was "Emily in this family we do not shake hands" She said as she pulled Emily in to a hug causing JJ to laugh and relax slightly, well until her mom looked Emily up and down staring at the bump that was showing.

She frowned slightly before looking at the woman in front of her and then at her daughter "correct me if I am wrong ladies but am I seeing correct and Jennifer I know it can't be yours," she said calmly. Emily stepped back looking at the floor becoming slightly unsettled, as JJ spoke "Mom we can explain and you might want to take a seat" JJ said as she looked at her mom who now seemed to be in slight shock.

Sandy took a seat half-staring at Emily; she just could not take her eyes off her stomach. "mom" JJ said softly as they both took a seat opposite her she took hold of Emily's hand just as Sandy spoke "Was this, I mean did you plan this?" she asked as JJ shook her head "No mom, we didn't plan this at all" "Then explain to me how you got her pregnant because if I am mistaken you do not house the correct anatomy to get her pregnant" She spoke calmly though her voice wavered slightly.

Emily became more uncomfortable by the second "Mom, she didn't cheat on me if that's what you're thinking" JJ said looking straight into her eyes, Sandy's face looked at Emily who was now looking at the floor, she stood up walking straight over to the brunette kneeling in front of her as she placed her finger under her chin so that Emily was now looking at her.

As Sandy looked into her eyes she saw pain and fear, her face softened "oh sweetheart" she said softly as she let a small smile show, she knew what JJ had meant the second she said Emily hadn't cheated on her as she wrapped her arms around her. "Did they catch him?" she said suddenly causing Emily to tense up slightly, as she looked at her daughter "Well not really caught him, but Morgan did shoot him between the eyes if that helps" JJ said sarcastically, Sandy shook her head slightly she never really did like guns.

"Jennifer can you please make me a coffee" she smiled as she looked at Emily, JJ hesitated slightly "Jennifer" Sandy said again "I would like a moment with Emily" she said firmly, JJ looked at her mom and then at Emily trying to see any sign that Emily didn't want to leave her, but she found none. "Okay" she said softly as she made her way out of the room.

"Right now that we are alone, we can have a little chat" Sandy said, her voice was calm and warm as Emily looked at her sadly "sorry" she said in a low voice "Oh Emily, you have nothing to be sorry for, but" she paused as she took Emily's hands in her own "No child should be born out of wedlock and also will I be classed as a grandma?" she smirked.

Sandy already like Emily before she had met her, they had spoken on the phone, and for the first time in a long while, her daughter was truly happy, she heard it in her voice and she had not heard it for so long. Yes, she was in shock but that did not change anything in her eyes. JJ had told her about her sexual preference when she was a teenager and Sandy never though her daughter would know the love of a child of her own.

Emily looked at her with slightly wide eyes "You're not mad?" Sandy frowned "Why would I be mad? Emily I would have been, if you had cheated on her then we would be having a very different conversation, but you didn't so I can only guess how you became pregnant" she smiled softly "And you do not need to tell me other than are you okay with this?"

Emily could hear the genuine concern in her voice, as her eyes filled with tears "Yes, well I'm getting there I guess" she answered her voice filled with emotion. "Well that is the main thing" Emily looked at her for a moment "and if you're okay with being a grandma then yes" Emily paused as JJ returned with coffee for them both and an herbal tea for Emily to help settle her stomach a little. "Everything okay?" JJ asked as she looked between the two of them before Emily smiled "Well aside from we need to drop the other bombshell on Sandy then yes" Sandy looked at them "What does that mean?" her voice slightly sceptical .

JJ placed the drinks down onto the table "Mom have a seat" she smiled as Emily blushed slightly before she spoke "You asked if you was going to be a grandma, well I was hoping so since Jennifer and myself will be raising both our children as our own she will be their mother as well as me" Emily said slightly calmer than she felt as JJ sat next to her mom "Twins?" she gasped "you're having twin, oh my god" a smiled stretched across her face "two grandbabies" she whispered as JJ started to laugh.

"Yes mom, twins" she paused holding her hand as she looked at Emily "one boy and one girl" Sandy looked at them both before wrapping her hands around her daughter "Well then I am saying congratulation to you both" she stared at Emily for a moment "Right what I said before stands"

Emily laughed "We have no time to plan a wedding and my Mother would kill me if I did anything without her being in the state and as for my daughter well if I gave her the idea we would be having a ball not a wedding" Emily said as she watched Sandy.

"Emily remind me just how much do you girls earn a year because this house is huge and cannot have come cheap, how are you going to manage the repayments once the babies are born" she asked earning a laugh from both JJ and Emily "Mom you not remember I told you who her mother is" Sandy glared at her "Yes I remember, but what has that got to do with money?" as Emily rolled her eyes slightly.

"Let's just say there are no repayments, we are financially secure, so please don't worry about that" Emily said letting the words sink in "Oh right, well then, how long till your mother is back in the states" she asked not wanting to fully know about the money Emily had. "Not too sure" Emily said as they all ate there lunch "Jennifer I am just" "Okay you need me shout" JJ said as her mom looked puzzled at them both.

"Bad morning sickness it either lasts all day and well with her injury let's just say she has been up most of the night, to the point I might name the toilet after her" Sandy laughed slightly "Is she okay with everything really" JJ sighed "Mom I am not going to tell you everything is perfect because it is not but she is getting there and I am as well, it has just been such a difficult six months and Emily is just not ready to talk to me about it yet" JJ said softly though she had a slight smile on her face. "She is getting all the help she needs and that is enough for me she will talk when she is ready mom, just"

Sandy stopped her daughter "I won't ask, I also do not need to know Jennifer, my main concern is you are happy and you both are okay, and with Emily being pregnant and the happiness I can see in your eyes, I know I do not need to worry, but I also want you to remember I am only a phone call away and I also want to be a part of yours and Emily's life as well as them babies" JJ frowned for a second "What is it JJ?" Sandy asked "What about Sarah" Sandy smiled "That is her choice but I will treat her the same as I would my own"

"Oh mom, that means so much to us both, I was so worried" JJ paused as she heard the front door close "Who is that?" Sandy asked "Sarah" JJ said softly before calling her into the kitchen "In the kitchen Sarah, this is her daughter mom. "Hey Jennifer is mom arou" she stopped short as her eyes fell on the woman sitting at the table "Sorry I can go" JJ shook her head "Don't be silly, this is my mom Sandy, Mom this is Sarah"

"Nice to meet you ma'am" Sarah said backing away slightly. JJ placed a hand on her mom's arm "no hugging" she warned "Nice to meet you and please call me Sandy" they shook hands as Sarah spoke "Okay, Jennifer where is mom" JJ nodded "Bathroom, can you let me know if she is alright" "I will" Sarah said as she retreated out of the kitchen heading upstairs.

"She is her double" Sandy said once Sarah had gone upstairs "She is and a very sweet young lady and shy" JJ smiled "Is she okay with everything" Sandy said gently "She is more than okay mom, she just doesn't like to be touch that's all" JJ said as her mom looked at her "What's happened to her?" JJ shook her head "I can't tell you mom, sorry and please don't ask her or Emily just be careful around her please" Sandy nodded slightly "Okay, but I would like to know why she seemed scared of me" JJ laughed "Mom it took her two years to come near me, she will come around just give her time"

"So anyway wedding, you will think about it, I mean I can help plan if you want" JJ closed her eyes slightly "Mom I would love to, but her mother would kill us both" JJ laughed as she spoke.

Sandy thought for a moment "How about Sarah?" she asked just as JJ took a drink of coffee, she laughed spitting out the coffee in her mouth as she did. "Mom Sarah would more than likely want it in a big castle and the whole shebang which we do not want, we just want something simple, we were going to wait till after she had the babies, they won't know any difference" JJ said

"But Jennifer, you can't have children outside of wedlock" she said again "Mom I am gay, so why does it matter if they are born in or out of wedlock" JJ said slightly emotionally, Sandy looked at her for a moment "Jennifer you fall in love with who you fall in love with, it should not matter what sex they happen to be, and a wedding is a symbol of that love, it shouldn't matter to anyone that your gay" she rambled slightly "You grew up in the church and they never judged you, there is nothing wrong with it" She tried again.

"Mom I understand that, and yes I would like to, but with our work load and Emily is struggling as it is, with morning sickness that lasts most of the day and night, and the other problems she has, she just doesn't need the stress" JJ said firmly

"Jen" Emily said from the doorway, Sarah standing behind her "Your mom is right, we can at least think about it can't we" she smiled she knew JJ wanted to be married before the babies were born.

JJ looked at them both "Really? You wouldn't, I mean we don't even know how to get hold of Elizabeth" JJ stated her smile leaving her lips "I can always get a message to her Jennifer and so can this one" Emily said as she pulled Sarah close.

"Mom can Karen help?" JJ laughed as Sandy frowned "Who is Karen?" Emily rolled her eyes as she motioned for Sarah to move slightly "You haven't told her much have you Jennifer?" JJ blushed "Wasn't sure if" she trailed off slightly. "Karen is my best friend from college; she lives in the annexe to keep an eye on this one when we are away. Sarah is home schooled and" Sarah glared at her mom "Mamãe parar por favour" Emily pulled her close "sorry Era" JJ smiled softly "Sarah why don't you go and see if Karen is about for us and then we can have a chat okay" JJ said softly "Okay"

* * *

Sarah- Mamãe parar por favour (Mom stop please)


End file.
